Note to self

Try to find info on dave frasier on KTAR. The traffic guy.

Anyone want to help in the mean time? I'll tell you why later. Rushed now.

Good Luck or Bad?

So, today I went straight in to our HR office and asked about the new dental policy. It's so new to us that we don't even have cards or a group number yet. (But at least I'm not the guy that works on his feet all day that is now walking around in a cast that I ran into while I was in there -- but I digress!) So, our "HR girl" gave me her last packet on the current policy (good for 3 more days) and tells me the link to the new one if I can't get an appointment right away.

As luck would have it, MY dentist is on the current plan! YEAH! I give him a call and he's on vacation this week. BOO!!! And, he doesn't take the new plan, so it's time to look around. Boo!!!!

I hate looking for a new doctor ALMOST as much as looking for a new job! (Yup, you guessed it! Boooooooo!!!!!)

I figured, what the heck -- just start at the top of the list and call to see who can get you in. At this point, it almost doesn't matter. Or does it?

The first few offices had only answering machines on the phone, so I assumed they were closed for the holidays as well. Then I decided to at least NOT choose a dentist that was WAY far away and TRY to find one close to home or work. The next one I called, I got a VERY professional and pleasant girl on the phone and she asked if I could get there by 1:30 that very same day!!!! Yeah!!!! What great luck!!!!

I mean, Wooo hoooo!!!!!!!!

I'LL TAKE IT!

But, as soon as I hang up, I wonder why they are able to get me in immediately. Does the dentist suck? Boo?

I don't think he does!!!! Yeah!!!!!

BUT.

Wait, that should be a BIG "BUT!"

The thing is, my tooth was NOT hurting when I went in to see him. Perhaps I could have (hypothetically) lived an entire year with my pain-free broken tooth like those that offered me (very welcomed!) solace when I voiced my anxiety over the broken tooth situation. But, in the PROCESS of getting it fixed, something is now exposed that was not before.

NOW it hurts! I mean, it really hurts!!! Boo!!!!!

BUT, it's not a BAD kind of hurt. It's the kind of dull pain that I can DEAL with! Yeah!!! Not that stabbing throbbing pain that I had feared prior to heading in to the drill master. ;) (That's a hypothetical Boo!!!!)

BUT! they warned me that the temporary crown may not last through the weekend! WTF?!?!?! Boo!!!!

BUT! at least they WARNED me about that and I can avoid it! Yeah!!! Poor Marti was young and dumb and completely unwarned when he got his first crown and decided it was a GOOD idea to eat gummy bears or hot tamales (he can't remember) and lost his first crown. (Ya think?)

So, in the time it has taken me to turn on my PC and form at least THIS part of this post, my pain has subsided! YEAH-DI-FREAKIN-YEAH!!!!!!!! Yes, people, Excedrin KICKS ASS on dental pain! You know how they say certain pills work better on certain types of pain? Well, put Excedrin down for dental pain!!! I don't even know it exists right now! And, I knew to do this because last time I had dental pain, it also worked like a charm. Excedrin is my new "ass kicker" if I ever have dental pain! I'm just sayin'!!!!

So, anyway, I got the tooth drilled down today (yeah?) and got a temporary crown put on until they can get a permanent one molded and matched at the lab. YEAH! And, the temporary one is white and not silver! Yeah! BUT, I wonder, after I TOLD the girl that I didn't CARE if the temporary crown was silver, if they will bill me for the difference? Insurance will surely not cover the extra cost on something that will be thrown away in a week or so. Boo!

The thing is, it turns out that I finally have come to the realization (at 40 years old!!!) that I seem to have some sort of weird immunity to Novacaine! BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (I see I'm not the only one with this problem: Novocaine Issues ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~...........~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ And yet another link, just to convince myself that I'm not crazy...

We started at 2:05 pm after he gave me my first shot. He let me sit there about 15-20 minutes maybe to let it take effect. I don't ever remember a dentist letting me stew on it so long, so this was a welcome procedure! (Uh, YEAH!) I was feeling plenty swollen by the time he returned, but as soon as he started drilling, I knew I was in for it again. Just as I always fear, I got the huge jolts of pain when he hit certain areas of my tooth. He calmly told me to relax, but how can I???? (Uh, BOOOOO!)

So, after about 3 major jerks away from his drill, he concedes that maybe I need another shot. He gave me one in the front of my jaw and another in the back where the first one was. And then, of course, I wait.

He returns and the drilling resumes. Do you want to guess what came next?

You're right! A big BOOOOO!!!!

I can still feel PAIN and by now I'm actually, for the first time in my conscious memory, crying in the dentist chair! (Well, boo.) I don't even remember crying as a child!!!!! (And I got a LOT of fillings as a child!)

So, as I wipe my eyes and tremble, he backs off and gives me another shot, then allows me to stew for a little longer. An over an hour has passed and he's barely started because I keep needing more shots. (No fault of his own, but boo.)

He worked around the sensitive spot and then after my 4th dose, we mutually agreed (in unspoken "suck it up and let's get this over with" terms) to just blast through it.

He did his best to avoid the area (I could feel where he worked, so I know he was doing this) until the end and then I just clenched every muscle in my body and let him have at it. It still hurt like a mother, but when he said he was almost done, it was what I needed to hear and we were soon done. (Boo for the pain, but yeah for the done!!!!)

I swear. Next time I visit a dentist when drilling is a possibility, I am SO shoving a piece of coal up my ass! I will surely have diamonds by the time everything is done! ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Side note:

As much as I hated every moment of what happened today, I am SO thankful to the guy for getting me in and patiently working through the procedure with me! It must SUCK to have a job where you literally make people cry when trying to help them! What a thankless job that must be!

To every dentist out there, I offer my humble thanks. For every tear of pain I've shed in your chair, you have, no doubt, saved me hundreds of tears in the privacy of my own home, I'm sure.

Merry Christmas, Lisa...

My tooth broke today. And, my grandma died on Christmas Eve. I know the part about my grandma is not "all about me" and that is not the point of this post. What happened to her is just one of those things, and the family is doing fine. Per her son (who was doing his best to do what he thought she would have wanted) we carried on with Christmas Eve dinner that night. She also wanted to be cremated, so we didn't have a memorial service yet.

Here's where it becomes my disaster.

For those that don't know, I am in accounting. We're coming up on month end, as well as year end. My boss and I are basically the entire A/R department, so if either of us are gone at key times, it begins to suck. I already took Christmas Eve off (a normal work day where I work), and will be taking Friday off after the New Year's Day holiday. The first day of the month after the end of the month is kind of sort of the biggest day of all for getting this closing thing done.

SO... Did I mention: my tooth broke today! I will post a picture at the end, so don't scroll down if you don't want to see it. I put it in black and white so it's not as graphic.

About 1/4 of my tooth just fell off when I was chewing, exposing some pretty darn fleshy material inside. I'm petrified of the stabbing throbbing pain that I just know is coming if I can't get in to see a dentist soon. There was a filling in the middle, so there's not much left of the tooth now that it's all filling and the "good part" has begin to fall apart.

What makes this suck in so many ways is that my insurance changes at the first of the year, so I don't even know which dentist to see or how soon anyone can take me in.

I've already taken all this time off work and have been trying to stay caught up so it won't have as much of an impact, but now it looks like I will have to just "take off" for yet another thing.

Oh, and did I mention I need to schedule this around a memorial service for my grandmother? Just my luck, someone will be able to get me in, and it will be when I'm supposed to be at the service.

And, I didn't mention that the reason I'm taking off the first and second of January is because we're supposed to take a trip for the long weekend. That makes scheduling an appointment, uh, sort of inconvenient.

How can one little tooth have the potential to screw up SO many things? I guess it's a good thing I'm not pregnant, because that could really throw a wrench in this thing, too! Oh, wait, I guess there is a 1% chance that I maybe could be if there was a MAJOR fluke I didn't track right. Nice.

Well, as promised, here's the picture.

Broken Dreams

Men, consider yourself warned. While not at all graphic, this one is about female functions and baby making!

Without getting too much into the gory details, I thought there might be a chance I could have gotten pregnant this month! Well, that was short lived, and I see the signs that I thought meant my cycle was off have changed back into the normal range and I'm probably still waiting to ovulate. (Side note for those that don't know: I take my temperature almost every day and unfortunately chart to avoid getting pregnant now, when that started as a way to try to GET pregnant.)

Marti is a typical guy in that he doesn't always listen very well. I showed him an ovulation monitor gadget this weekend that indicated I would probably ovulate soon. Then, that night he asked what day I was on, to which I replied, "7 or 8." Well, turns out I was really at the end of day 9 (I couldn't remember on the fly like that and underestimated), so really, I was sneaking up on that magical "day 14" that hopeful mommies live for! The next day he said he thought I said "4 or 5" rather than "7 or 8" when he had asked! HUH!?!?!?! Because it interfered with a trip we were taking last weekend, he knew when I started my last period as much as I knew when it was, and he's even better with numbers than I am!

Also, the very next day my temperature was elevated, so I thought that was going to indicate I ovulated early this month. Alas, that was just a fluke and I'm back within normal range again. :(

I was so excited at the possibility of trying and really enjoyed considering it for those couple of days that it seemed like it could be a real possibility! Dang it!

I even imagined giggling with another little girl someday about how she got here. Of course, the little girl would be grown up and we'd be sharing a bottle of wine by the time I'd share THIS kind of story with her! Ha ha! It would have started with, "Your dad doesn't listen very well..."

Anyway, it was all just stupid me hoping and now I know it's not going to be true. As much as it bums me out, I guess it was fun while it lasted.

I often think about how I deal with NOT getting pregnant now and sometimes get additional insight into what I feel that maybe I hadn't THOUGHT yet. One of my latest thoughts was in relation to Abby playing. When it's time to go, we need to tell her she has a couple more minutes or else she gets upset. I GET this. She wants to finish what she started or have a chance to do something she hadn't gotten around to doing yet, and THEN leave. If we give her a heads up that we're leaving soon, things go MUCH easier!!!

This is kind of how I feel. I think I would let go of all of this if I had a chance to try this one more time before just walking away. We wanted two kids. Last time I got pregnant would have been our second kid, but that didn't work out. After that, I always thought we'd try for another one -- and to some degree we sort of tried, but it was always half-assed. It was half-assed because with my job and the insurance situation, things didn't align perfectly. At the time, I was sort of OK with half-assing it because I always thought that there would BE a time to give it my all later. When Marti finally said he was tired and decided we were done, I didn't have a say in it. I respect his wishes, as I would expect him to if I didn't want another one, but it ultimately is not my choice.

So, when this happy accident almost happened, I took it as my last chance. If I got pregnant and lost another one, I would at least have gotten that "two minute warning" and made the most of it. I never got to say, "This is the last one" before I was taken out of it.

Just for the record: I'm still not over this. I deal with it better now because I find the positive things about having just one, but I still long for one more.

Abby Swims! (Sort Of...)

We got Abby into swimming lessons not too long ago, and she is now officially sort of swimming. ;) I wouldn't toss her in the pool and expect her to find her way to the edge just yet, but she did jump off her platform, make her way over to her teacher, and then roll over to take a breath all on her own yesterday! Woo hooo!!! I got a tear in my eye just watching it. She did it over and over and over. You can see the teacher in this video looking up for us to see that we caught the moment. It was not to be missed!!!

I'm so proud of my little one!!!

Click this link. Abby's First Swim

The pool is behind glass, so you can't hear the class noise. All you can hear is the noise of other parents. (Oh, and just disregard that reflection -- that would be the big window we get to watch through!)

Chistmas = Scary Ghost Stories?

Excerpt from It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year


It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
There'll be much mistltoeing
And hearts will be glowing
When love ones are near
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

There'll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And caroling out in the snow
There'll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories of
Christmases long, long ago


What's up with that? Do you tell scary ghost stories on Christmas or is that just weird?

Petty Theft

It happens everywhere, I know, but it's no less infuriating when it happens to you.

Work theft. Break room theft. Lunch bandits. Whatever you want to call them. I call them LAME!

In my office, there is a group of about 5 of us that cook lunch for each other once a week. (We have a full kitchen available in the break room.) It's like a rolling pot luck. A few weeks ago, Cheryl made meatloaf and someone stole her Pyrex from the break room! Last week was my turn and I made baked potatoes and chili.

When we first started this thing, I stocked up a few items that I knew we'd be needing: plates from the dollar store, some cheap (but real) silverware, a couple of knives and a spatula, and a roll of aluminum foil. I used the foil for the potatoes last week (Thursday) and popped it on top of one of the lesser used fridges in the room. It was kind of hidden between the junk on top of the fridge and the cabinets. I forgot it there until today.

Of course, when I went back to grab it, it was gone!

I know it's petty. It's not that big of a deal, money-wise. It's the principle. We NEEDED that! It was ours! More so, it was NOT THAT PERSON'S TO TAKE! And, what if I wanted to bake something that required foil again today, only to find that what I needed was gone? I'd be stuck with no way to make my lunch, all because some schmuck took it upon themself to help themself to something that they WANTED that was not theirs. ARGH!

I guess the worst part is, it's a fairly small crew, and I probably say hi in the halls to whomever stole our stuff.

Would you believe that the owner actually put a BUNCH of steaks in the freezer one time after returning from a hunting trip, only to find someone had stolen some? That takes BALLS! I mean, stealing from the boss is one thing. Stealing from the boss when you know he's got a gun... Ha ha, but seriously -- LAME!!!!

And apparently frozen cookie dough for school fund raisers has been stolen, too! Knowing all this, I guess I should not be surprised that someone stole my foil.

I just hope that someday this person is on a trip in some foreign country, desperately in need of a restroom (if you catch my drift), and finds that someone STOLE all the TP because they wanted to save a couple bucks on groceries that week!

What? Vindictive? Me? NAH!!!!!!

WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?

Warning - the video in the link contains a man swinging a baby around to music. The baby doesn't seem distressed, but that doesn't mean the viewer will not be.

Click this link. WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?

Someone tell me that this is not real.

Please.

The New Content Warning

(The content warning page has been removed since this post was first published)

For those of you wondering about the new "Content Warning" page, here's the scoop.

I used to be a teacher. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the kids, but will NEVER be a teacher again. I vowed this to myself, my family, and my friends.

I do, occasionally, hear from old students -- some in high school, some graduating college. I am always thrilled and welcome the friendly "what's up"s I get from them. Eventually, I anticipate one or more will end up here. They are finding me in other places and it's just a matter of time before they find this link. I never wanted to HIDE the link, but I never gave it to any of them either.

At least one student is now just one step away from finding this place -- my mental dumping ground. As one last caution, I placed the "adult content" warning on my blog in case it's not somewhere she (and those that follow) want to go with their former teacher.

I have great respect for so many of my former students and most of what is in here is stuff they "sort of" know about (in a round about way) anyway. It's just the way it's presented here that may be a concern. But, I don't ever want to teach again, so what do I care now if they catch me dropping a couple F-bombs here and there now? I'm thinking they MIGHT have heard worse from their peers and parents already, right?

There are occasionally grown up themes to be had here (along with some not so grown up moments LOL!), but unless I'm mistaken, it's nothing a kid today couldn't handle. And, teachers are just real people, after all. We're not all "Christmas Vests" and navy blue jumpers! (No, I am proud to say I have never owned a Christmas vest!!!! [or any other holiday, for that matter!] I did, however, have a favorite navy blue wool jumper when I was doing my kindergarten internship back in the 90's!!!)

So, there it is. Consider the clock counting and I am timing you, student(s). ;) I will not ever point this place out, but I will laugh my butt off every time someone finds it! Oh, and feel free to tell me so if you do. I promise you won't get detention. LOL!!!!!!!!

Mental note to self: teacher blog, yes -- for the endless hilarity that ensued in a junior high classroom! I always said I should write it all down someday before I forget. I need to do that someday.

The Birdhouse and the Garbage Can

I forgot to post a picture of the now infamous birdhouse.



It turns out that he bought two, but couldn't get the glue to stick, so he put one away for later. When he moved on from one birdhouse to the other, he stacked the pieces of the first very neatly together and placed them back in the package that he received.

The problem was, there was still glue on the pieces he TRIED to put together, so it was pretty darn funny to take the birdhouse out, only to discover it was now a brick!

It wasn't too bad and I was able to pop them apart with only a tiny corner of one piece breaking off. I think he gets mad when I giggle, but that's just how it's always been in my family. The ladies giggle at the men.

A PRIME example would be my adorably grumpy grandfather. Back in the day, they had metal drums that they used for trash barrels. He kept his meticulously painted but when one started to rust out, he had to dispose of it. Thinking if he flattened it, he could fit it inside the NEW trash bin and easily dispose of it, he decided to use what God gave him to complete the task. (Grandpa wasn't entirely fat, but he wasn't a small man by any means. I guess just picture Walter Matthau without the black hair.)

He set the barrel on its side next to the neighbor's chain link fence. The fence was about waist-high, so he was able to stand on the barrel and hold onto the fence in preparation for what followed. It was a brilliant plan! All he had to do was squish the barrel.

Using all his might (and heft) he jumped up into the air in hopes of landing on the barrel. What happened next was...

Well, what happened next was we laughed our asses off!

Why?

Well, it turns out that when he landed on the barrel, it did succumb to his weight -- but only briefly. It popped back up and catapulted him up and over the fence and into the neighbor's yard.

Another example is that he was bald and constantly banging his head on things (in his OWN garage) and coming back inside looking like he got hit over the head with a rolling pin. As the blood was still dripping down his melon, we would just laugh.

So, that's how it has always been in my family. I grew up thinking men are funny. I can't be held responsible for that, can I?

Philly Cheese Steaks

Before I say anything, I want to get it on the record that I love my husband and he's a pretty darned good cook. He also appreciates some of the finer things in life, so it's not like he's been ripped straight out of some hick town where "going out for dinner" means meeting up at the local Dairy Queen.

There. That was just to give some perspective because what follows is not going to be pretty.

Last night he grilled a monstrous steak for us to split. He asked me if I wanted cheese steak sandwiches instead of just steak, but I declined.

Then he tried convincing me that his idea would be AWESOME! He wanted to put the steak with melted VELVEETA CHEESE between 2 pieces of Aunt Hattie's Buttermilk (white) bread!

WHAT?!?!?!?! That was just WRONG to even say!!!!!! The Velveeta was bad enough, but you don't put a steak sandwich on sandwich bread. You just don't. You need something, well, BEEFIER that will hold up to the steak and juices.

I told him that there were some people in Philadelphia that wanted to have a seeeeeeeeeeeerious talk with him.

Oh, and before you get any ideas, NO, I don't think that Philly Cheese Steaks would be fine dining either! My point by adding the "perspective" section above is just to imply that HE KNOWS BETTER!

And, in all fairness, I must say, he grilled a mean steak last night! (As usual!) That man has a knack with the BBQ!!!!

Memorable Moments in October

Here are some pictures from October. It was full of fun, including a visit from the in-laws, a trip to the fair, Abby's birthday, and of course, Halloween!

Abby got to feed an alpaca. If you've never fed one before, their lips are like little velvet fairies dancing in your hand!


Abby also got to feed baby goats. Some of them were even about the size of puppies! She made a point of searching out the babies and trying so hard just to feed them. I noticed the mothers were in there, too, so I told her it was ok to feed the mommies because they would feed the babies for her.


Speaking of mommies feeding their babies...

Actually, what was funny about this (and you can't see it in a still shot) was what the baby pigs were doing. They actually were NOT nursing. They were rooting around in mom's boobs, spinning her nipples with their snouts! Scientifically speaking, maybe they were trying to stimulate milk flow. The child in me can't help but giggle, though!


She got her first pony ride ever and I got some exercise chasing them around! (They were faster than they looked!)


Marti took her on the mini bumper cars and they had a blast! He was VERY comfortable, too. No. Really. He was.


Dyan took Abby on the baby elephant ride! Ever since seeing the Disneyland commercials with all the flying elephants, she has wanted to go on that ride! I was so surprised to see an elephant ride at the fair, but THRILLED for her because I knew she would LOVE it!


I got to go on her first roller coaster ride with her! Luckily we didn't make it on right away and ended up at the front of the line for the next ride. (The very front car was the only one with leg room for anyone resembling an adult.) I was MUCH more comfortable than Marti was on his ride. ;)


Fake bats?
Check.

Skull necklaces?
Check.

Glowing red eyes?
CHECK!!!!!
(You've got to click on this one of Dyan and Abby to get the full effect.)


And, finally, Abby trying on her costume at my in-laws' -- complete with the most perfect (and accidentally found) pair of shoes for this costume! I was about 10 seconds away from saying, "Screw it! She can wear white sneakers with it!" when I found 4 pairs of these shoes -- and one pair happened to be her size! (We did get better fitting tights for the real Halloween, but those pictures didn't come out so great.)

Who Needs Pockets?

Marti sent me this today and I think it is so darned cute!!!!

Not one...
Not two...

Well, I don't want to ruin it for you!



Ah, the innocent fun of shoving frogs in your knickers!!! Those were the days, weren't they?

What? Like you never shoved a family of frogs into your undies?????

Politics and Pranks

No, this post is not about Politics. EVERY other blog you read today will probably be about politics, but I am going to dare to be different and FINALLY post my prank story.

It all started a few years back when a friend and I used to whistle this little Mozart song back and forth at each other at work. When my grandma died in 2002, I discovered she had a wooden jewelry box that played that song. The lid of the box was broken but the music was perfect.

I took the mechanism out of it and mounted it in a really cool wooden Cohiba cigar box. I dressed the box up with feet I made out of pairs of little wooden button thingies and painted them to match. (The box needed to be "off the ground" to let the music box unwind as it played.) I lined the inside with golden brown suede cloth. It was sweet!!!! She loved it.

When I had showed it to Marti before taking it to her, he said HE wanted to keep it! But, I made it for someone else, so she still got it. It was "her song" after all. ;)

Well, grandma also had a music box that played "If I Were A Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof. Marti likes that song and sings it from time to time.

So, his bday came around and I finally got around to making him HIS box that plays HIS song.

Saturday before his birthday, I shopped for the cigars to fill it with, as well as another present. I was late getting home and he looked a little cranky about it because we had somewhere to go. I told him I was getting his bday stuff so he lightened up. :)

The next day he was bugging me about where his stuff was – playing like he was going to go search it out and ruin my surprise for him. I told him he could look, but that I still had to make one of his presents.



"You're MAKING me a present?????"



At that moment, my mind clicked and I went for the prank.

I told him of course I was MAKING him a present! It was, after all, his FORTIETH BDAY!!! DUH!

He looked confused and asked what was up with that so I explained that it's a tradition that you make someone a present for their 40th. He had a BS look on his face, so I kept playing it to see where it would go. We went back and forth a little.



Marti: I've never made anything in my life.

Lisa: And I don't dance, but I danced with you at our wedding – it's a TRADITION! You just DO certain things because they mean a lot to people. (haha!)

Marti: So do I have to make you something for your bday? (Two months after his)

Lisa: That would be nice.

Marti: Like a cake?

Lisa: (shoots the "don't be lame" look)

Marti: What, like CERAMICS or something???

Lisa: That's a start. (haha!)

Marti: I've never heard of this before.

Lisa. Silly Brit. Your parents were probably really hurt that you didn't make them something for their 40th bdays…



I kind of left it alone after that so as not to over do it, then I went into covert mode.

You see, in an hour or so, he was going to be going to his fantasy football draft party and seeing all his friends, who would then tell him that it's all BS – they've never heard of such a thing! Well, that was, unless I got to them first!!! (haha!!!!!!)

I called 3 of his friends that I knew would be there. They were game! One even said he'd suggest macramé to Marti as a home-made gift for me! (You have to understand Marti is not the handy type!!!! At all.)

So, he comes home from his party and tells me what was said. (I didn't even ask because that would be obvious. It was great that he offered up the info, as I was anxious to hear how it went!!)

Here is the gist of what he said happened: (I did not talk to Keith, so this was either a funny coincidence, or Tony put him up to it. Also, Kenny and I used to be very close, so he knows me well enough to know my bday follows Marti's and I, too, would be turning 40 soon.)



Keith: What year did you graduate?

Marti: 1986.

Keith: So you're probably about 40 now, right?

Marti: Yup.

Kenny: So that means Lisa's turning 40, too, right? Wow, we're getting old!

Tony: So what are you making her for her 40th?



Bwah ha ha ha!!!!!

And it went on from there. Keith said he'd never heard of it either, so in that sense, I don't know if he was in on it or not. But, apparently they threw out some ideas for him and what he could make me. Marti, of course came up with an X-rated idea. (haha! But no thanks!) He didn't tell me what the other ideas were, but his friend let me in on it. I think they decided a bird house was doable and a "thoughtful gift" for the bird/yard lover that I am.

So, at that point he had a couple of months to make me a bird house. All I could think was, "how's he going to MAKE me a bird house?" Haha! I got tears in my eyes imagining it!! I had to hop in the shower after Tony sent me that bird house text because I was going to crack up! I needed Marti to not see my face for a few minutes while I thought that one through. Measuring, marking. Sawing, sanding. Screwing, gluing. Painting, panting. OMG!

It gets better.

Tony let a bunch of their coworkers in on it, as well as some regulars.

Marti was off Wednesday for his bday. Tony was going to get some regular to ask Marti where he was on Wednesday to get him to say it was his birthday. Then the regular would ask him what his wife made for him – just to give more random credibility to the "tradition" we were making up.

Of course, my giving him the box I made added more credibility to the story that it's traditional to give a home-made gift for a 40th bday. The worst part was, I couldn't say anything or see it come to fruition for over 2 months!

What killed me the most was imagining him actually making me something. It would have to be a true labor of love for him to want to make me something just because it's a tradition that I want him to follow. What a sport, huh?

A bird house… Ha ha ha!!!!

During the time it took to get from his bday to mine, there were a few opportunities to subtly mess with him. For example, at the dollar store I ran across some little 4" birdhouses in unfinished wood. I brought one home and made a point of painting it with Abby one morning while I let him sleep in so he could come down and discover us "making a birdhouse."

I can't even remember all the other things now since it has been so many weeks from start to finish.

So, my bday has come and gone and he did give me a birdhouse. After admiring his work, I asked him if he was going to give me my 40 swats -- because he was going to want to! He looked confused and asked me why.

It was then that I let him know the whole thing was a prank.

His response to me was, "No, it's real! I heard it from more than one person."

Pause.

Pause.

Pause.

Oh, if only it were that easy to make something true!

I could see so many thoughts running through his head as he said that. The denial was so pure! As he realized NOW I was telling the truth, it was almost as if he wanted to stop himself from saying it, but it was too late.

The next thing that happened was he started remembering who said what and who was in on it. Names would come out of the blue as he'd remember their part in the prank. "How did you get Meagan in on it?"

Seriously??? Meagan. Prank. Come.on!!!!! That was a natural! A better question might have been, "How did you get the guy from the salon a few doors down in on it?" Little did he know that guy from the salon is Meagan's stylist!

Almost everyone that heard about it wanted to take part in it once it got rolling.

In the end, it was a lot of fun, but I wish time didn't slip away from me once all the other festivities of October hit. I would have liked a bigger punchline that morning, or at least to have had the camera on his face.

No matter. As it is, I'm having fun with more little pranks around the house now that we've made it through this one. With Halloween done, there were the after Halloween sales. I've already hidden a fake doggie-doo in Abby's bed for him to find! That was funny, but he happened to find it when I was giving her a bath, so I missed seeing his face. It was fun after the bath to chase Abby around with it while she still thought it was real.

What was really funny was that when they thought it was real, they BOTH blamed it on the same dog -- Joey! Well, neither of our dogs mess on the floor or anything, but somehow they both immediately thought it was Joey!

And then there was the fake blood capsule...

Yup, I'm pretending I'm not 40 now and being about as immature as I can manage!

(I'll post a picture here of the birdhouse he made later this week. I need to get a hanger for it and hang it in the tree with the tiny one Abby and I painted.)

Dam.Keyboard!

I.took.the.keys.off.the.keyboard.to.try.to.clean.it.
and.now.I.can't.get.the.spacebar.back.on.properly!

I.had.time.to.post.today.but.I.am.having.a.REALLY.
rough.time.typing.anything.that.requires.a.space.

The.birdhouse.story.is.still.on.pause,as.are.any.
of.the.regularly.scheduled.rants.

I.can.get.a.space.in.there.by.copying.and.pasting.
it.from.somewhere.else.but.that's.not.really.
efficient,now.is.it?

Temporary Post

I fully intended on posting about the bird house today, but it turns out I cannot locate some text I thought I saved from when I first shared the story with a couple of old friends.

That being said, the story is coming -- just not tonight. I'm a little spent right now and must hit the hay.

Maybe Thursday instead...

As Much as I Depend on Them...

I wonder if reading and relating to the stories of other infertile women really does more harm than good. I think that sometimes I'd be better off living in my desolate pain than hearing it over and over, in oh so many variations, from those who suffer with me. At first it was comforting to know that others felt the same (or a similar version) pain. But as the months and years stretch on, I think it just prolongs my pain.

That's my take on it today.

Ask me again tomorrow and I'll probably have a different take.

Abby's Birthday Was Exhausting!

This is a "retro-post" (actually written in November) so I can find it easier next year when I need ideas for #4. I just found an incredible link I want to remember and this is a great excuse to post it here now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marti was a doll and planned the whole thing! He ordered and picked up the cake, and made the reservations, too.

It should have been super easy then, right? Nope. When it was all done and I managed to catch my breath long enough to freak out, he said it felt a little like our wedding where we ran around trying to talk to everybody all evening. (and I don't think the chainsaw incident helped me relax)

In the future, I think I'll check this link for advice on kids' birthdays. I have only read a couple of responses, but already there are all kinds of light bulbs over my head!!!

I'm LOVING the odd year/even year idea!!!!

Party Animus at A Little Pregnant.

Vanessa

Given that his long-awaited return is tomorrow, I couldn't help but think of Vanessa and Barry when I saw this:

Soldier returning home

Welcome home, Barry! I hope your greeting from those you hold dear (both furry and not-so-furry) is just as heart warming!

And from my house to yours: THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU'VE DONE!!!!!

2 Things

I am starting to not like being around a lot of people at one time. We had Abby's 3rd birthday party at a pizza place today and I am SPENT! It was just too much to take in. Marti said it felt like our wedding -- trying to say hi to everyone all at once... It's after 9PM and I'm still not right. The party was at 3:30PM. I had his help, as well as 3 sets of grandparents watching her at one point or another and I felt like I was in a whirlwind. I don't know how single moms (or dads) with no close family do it!!!! Hats off to you, if you fall into that category! Seriously!

Second - we got a new camera last week. We took a few sample shots on the display cameras and decided fairly quickly based on how quick the camera took the pictures and recovered between shots. We're not picky - we just want to catch people when they are still actually smiling.

So, Marti got a text message today from an old friend asking if we bought a new camera. Apparently he saw our pictures on one of the sample ones! We live in a very large metropolitan area, so it's not like we expected anyone we know to see the pictures. That was just kind of weird! I haven't seen this guy in over a year. He must have been cracking up that he found our pictures. I would have been.

The Crib is Gone

Tony came over this weekend to pick up Abby's crib and drop off the keyboard he borrowed a while back.

I helped him get the crib parts out of our garage and showed him where all the different screws and stuff went and how the weird parts worked to make the crib sturdy. I have no idea how it happened, and I think he still probably thinks I did it as a joke (* more on this later), but ONE KEY PIECE is missing!

There are little plastic strips that run up each side of the crib where the front part slides up and down. It's a guide, I guess. Well, for some reason, only ONE of those was in the ziplock bag of parts I gave him. WTF? If one of them was in there, they BOTH should have been in there. How did I not put ONE of the TWO parts away when I took the thing apart????? And, even more important, WHAT would I have done with it now that he needs it?

I told him to look online for the part and I'd keep looking around for it, but I don't have a lot of time to delve into the vast unknown that is my garage. Abby's 3rd birthday is coming up next week and we have out of town guests coming. Also, Marti said he wants to invite people over to the house after the party. Um, doesn't that defeat the purpose of having the party AWAY from the house? Now I have to clean the place SPOTLESS anyway.

Oh well, it will be fun. I'll just be tired.

OK, back to the missing crib part. I joked around with Tony that I was going to withhold one key part as payback for something that I will have a hard time letting him live down. It's just too funny, and he's a good sport, so his little flub is going to live in infamy.

See, my husband doesn't camp. And, at the time, we had a 4 month old baby to make it even more "iffy" to go camping. But, I wanted to give it a try since it had been a LONG time since I had been able to go camping. I borrowed my gear back from Tony and Marti and I made the drive out to the lake to go camping with some other friends.

I immediately started setting up camp and noticed there were no POLES in the tent bag!!!! HUH?!?!?!? WHO packs up the tent without the poles??????

Luckily, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Our friends lived about 30 minutes away, and offered to let us borrow their spare tent. I got their key and made a beeline for their garage! The tent was barely big enough for the blow up mattress and Abby's little sleeping compartment, but it WAS big enough, and that was all that mattered. We were back on track and only lost an hour or so to the ordeal. It could have been worse. As it is, it's just a joke that keeps getting played out.

So, when I let him borrow the crib and discovered there really WAS one key piece missing, you can imagine how sad yet funny it was!

He wanted to set up the crib for his wife to come home to. She's on a trip, so it would be a great welcome home, right? And wouldn't you know it, there's a piece missing. Go figure.

He got it set up though, and as long as there is no baby in it, it LOOKS good for now. We'll deal with the missing part later. I'm sure it will turn up as soon as one of us breaks down and places the order for the replacement part! Ha ha!!!

On a more serious note, it really wasn't hard this time when I let the crib leave. It was REALLY hard the night I told them they could use it, but I must have come to terms with it since then.

Of course, the very next night, Marti tells a friend that we may try for another someday.

HUH!?!?!?!?!

Try?

Someday?

Killin' me, Marti. You're killing me.

House Hunt

A little while ago, the house next door to us was abandoned and eventually went up for auction at nearly twice what it was now worth. (Hey, you can't blame the bank for at least TRYING to recoup the loss, can you? Ha ha!)

I absolutely ADORE the floor plan, but we decided if we were going to keep and rent out our current home, tenants next door would just really be too close for comfort. There were other draw backs, but that one really stopped me from considering this house.

Obviously, at the auction, nobody placed a bid, so I figured it would just sit vacant for more months while "we" (America) all figure out WTF is going on. Amazingly though, someone showed up and cleaned up all the weeds and junk in the back yard, and presumably straightened up the interior. The electricity is back on (evidenced by the AC unit running again and the malibu lights on in the back yard again) and there is a lock box on the front door now. Maybe we'll get new neighbors after all.

I'm sad that we won't be getting the bigger house, but this one just wasn't right.

Fast forward to last night. Marti called and asked me to look up an address on Zillow for him and told me one of his regulars was fixing it up for sale and would sell it to us for a great price. I checked it out and was quite impressed with the satellite picture of the land as well as the street view. It looked very promising!

This morning before work I drove by and went inside. I was so unimpressed with almost everything about it. :( It was SO dated! The light fixture in the dining room was HUGE (too huge for the room even!) and should be preserved in a museum of the 80s.

There were technically 4 different levels to the home, so that was a drawback as well. It looks like the carpet and tile were recently replaced, but some of the tiles were higher than others, so I could feel the edges under my shoes. YUCK! That would drive me NUTS!!!

The kitchen was completely secluded from the rest of the house except for the TINY breakfast nook and the passageway to the boxy dining room. That is exactly what I am trying to get away from in our current home, and this prospect was even WORSE! At least I have a big open "window" in the wall that blocks off our current kitchen.

I thought for a moment that we could lose the little breakfast nook and completely redo the kitchen, as well as lose the wall between the kitchen and the living room, but the living room is like 4 inches lower than the rest of the house.

What was it about the 70s and 80s that people thought that was a good idea???? My in-laws have that little step down into their living room as well as a bedroom and again to the kitchen/dining room/hall to the rest of the house. What's UP (or rather, DOWN) with that???? I wonder how many old ladies have broken hips when visiting friends and family with random steps in their homes?

ANYWAY, back to the house... The back yard was HUGE and there was a pool. Marti said when he looked out at the pool pump he had flashbacks to another house he lived in with a pool and all he could see was a money pit. I did notice the massive assortment of roses, even though they were pruned back to nearly nothing at the moment. There were two HUGE grass areas on each side of the pool, so I told Marti we'd need to buy a lawn tractor! The little push reel mower we used to use wasn't going to cut it on that yard! And, of course, we'd need, uh, a POOL FENCE installed before I'd set foot in there with Abby!

In some ways I could see us making a life there -- enjoying the extra space and relaxing in the yard over the years. We got married in my mom and dad's back yard which isn't quite THAT big, but sort of set up in two halves like this one was, so there was a little "wishful thinking" that we could have another few parties like that and reminisce to the one that started it all.

But, in reality, we'd have to do some SERIOUS renovations on the house before it would be home, and really we're just not up to it. I hate to lose an opportunity to have a nice big yard like that, but then again, do I really want to set us up for months of messy and expensive house remodeling, ALL that grass to mow and that pool to tend to? Uh, not really. Not really.

So, we're passing on it. It's sad to say, but there will probably be better deals coming up soon as this mortgage crisis plays out. It's bad to say, "at least I hope so." I don't really wish it on anyone, but I do hope to find a deal if there is one to be had. I'm just disappointed that this one didn't pan out.

Morbid?

What happens to people's blogs after they die?

Is there a time limit on them, where they "poof" into nowhere if they are never updated again?

No, seriously. What will eventually happen to all of these blogs?

Stupid Question of the Day?

Me: "Tiffany went home sick today and discovered she was the victim of a burglary."

Someone Else: "Did they take anything?"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Are you serious? She was the victim of a burglary, not a trespass. Ugh. Of fucking COURSE they took something!

You've GOT to be Kidding Me!!!!

Lat night, the day after my plumbing mania weekend, I noticed that the floor was kind of wet in Abby's bathroom. I thought it could have been one of two things. Either the faucet I installed suddenly developed a leak where there was none before, or Marti had gotten out of the shower and left some pretty massive puddles in front of the shower as he dried off.

I checked the sink, and there were no leaks to be found, so I wiped up the floor and chalked it up to male oblivion.

In the morning, Marti took Abby in there so she could go pee, and I heard her begin to protest because the floor was all wet.

I bolted out of bed and ran in there, knowing that there had to be something else wrong.

Would you believe that Abby's toilet (which, if you check the list, was NOT one of the original projects!) suddenly developed a leak where the tank attaches to the bowl? Yes, the day after I complete every imaginable plumbing task in the entire house, ANOTHER thing goes wrong.

Thank God for shut off valves and extra toilets in the house!

Plumbing Mania!

This weekend I went OFF on our plumbing! I've been "dealing" with the faults and failures that the original plumbing has been throwing my way, but not any more! This weekend I stared it in the face and said, "BACK OFF BITCH!"

It started with a blown out garbage disposal last week. THAT needed to be replaced, so I figured why not the kitchen faucet that has also been giving me fits? (Yes, I wrote about this part before, so you are right in thinking this is familiar.)

In the process of choosing a new faucet, I ended up signing myself up for not one, but TWO faucet installations, because I changed my mind after the first one was installed. Also, the garbage disposal I installed had a defect (go figure!) so I had to start from scratch and do that ALL OVER AGAIN, too!

After pulling an all-nighter on Friday night and working well into the weekend after that, I managed to complete the following:

1. Successfully replace kitchen faucet
2. Successfully replace garbage disposal
3. Successfully reinstall reverse osmosis system
4. Half-ass-edly deal with sinking kitchen cabinet base due to previous water damage
5. Successfully fix downstairs guest toilet (again) (finally)
6. Successfully reintroduce the concept of hot water to the master bathroom shower after a year of just using the second bath instead.
7. Oh, what the heck! Just replace the faucet and drain in the second bath while you have the freakin' tools out, you plumbing fiend!!!!!

Yes, I was an animal this weekend! And it feels damned good to have all of this stuff done finally! I waited to post about it until I got into my own shower and felt hot water again. It's real. I have reclaimed my bathroom!

My next plumbing project (barring any plumbing fiasco) is to replace all the shut off valves with ball valves so I can KNOW if they are in the off position or not by looking at them. I HATE the normal knob style that homes come with!!!!!! They never work and there is always the threat of turning them too much.

My next post will be about something so utterly feminine to balance out this plumbing theme just to keep everything right in the world for those that can't handle a woman working under the sink. Maybe I'll sew something like I did after the time I replaced my roof (in July) (in Phoenix)!!!!!!! Halloween IS coming up, and my bird of an eater just doesn't FIT into anything she wants to wear!

Oh, idea for next blog. Abby. Halloween. Date. Reminder to self.

OK, later.

Rude Awakening

Shortly after 4:00 this morning, I got a call from (follow along) my mother's husband's mother's boyfriend. For simplicity sake, I'll just call him my grandfather, and likewise with the rest.

So, Grandpa called to say he can't reach my mom (not that he can't reach my dad, the woman's son!) and he wanted to know if I could get in touch with them. Grandma is in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

I told him I'd try to reach them and asked what happened. I guess she's sick, but as far as I could tell, it's not related to her heart problem.

So, I say good bye and call my mom's phone. Dad answers immediately. (How hard was that?) Turns out in the time it took me to tell Marti what was going on, Dad had already talked to Grandpa.

So, there you have it. I was woken up at 4 AM today for no apparent reason.

It gets better.

At 5:40 AM, my MOM called me! Why? To ask me if I had spoken to my Grandfather. (!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?) She was in the car with my dad when she called me.

First of all, not to point out the obvious, but WHAT DID she and my dad talk about in the hour or more that it took them to get into the car together? Did this not already come up?

Second of all, so what if I did or did not talk to him yet. There is nothing I can do. Why wake me up (again, as it turns out) presumably just to tell me she's in the hospital?

I hate getting woken up. I hate getting woken up early in the morning. I hate getting woken up early in the morning TWICE. I hate getting woken up early in the morning TWICE, to get information about something I cannot do anything about anyway.

Happy Fucking Monday to me!

Woo Hoo! It's Working!

I've been pretty religiously entering my meals and exercise on The Daily Plate since I started it on 8/20/08. It's been a month, and while I have not exercised at least 3 times a week like I wanted to do, I have seen results!

I have lost 4.5 lbs so far, which isn't really off from the 1 pound per week that I thought I would lose. I did target 1.5 pounds per week, but every time I blow it for a day or don't exercise, I know that takes its toll on my results, and I'm ok with 1 pound per week I guess. :)

I have also lost an inch in my waist already, and that is where I want to lose it the most! My shorts are a little lose on me again and it feels GREAT!!! I want to go shopping for new work clothes because it's been a while and my clothes are all faded or have stains here and there. It's not a good idea though, because if this keeps up, I will shrink out of anything that I buy today and just have to go buy more. We try to be tight with the money, especially in times like we're seeing these days. No need to go out and waste hundreds of dollars on something I'll just have to replace in a month anyway, right? Lucky for me I got the job at the casual place and nobody cares. Had I gotten the job at the financial firm it would be a whole new story.

Instead of Thanksgiving for a goal, I have changed it to New Year's Eve because it's hard enough sticking to the 1 pound a week diet guidelines. I still try for the 1.5 goal, but I don't feel bad if I go over a couple hundred calories or take a break from exercising if I'm tired. Who knows, maybe I'll have to adjust again once the holidays hit. That can't be good for a diet, right? Maybe I'll give Marti his wife back on Valentine's Day. :)

For now, I just want to share that the help I get from the website is definitely working for ME! I need to see results, and the graphs that show every little half pound lost really make a difference for me. I like seeing the correlation between the calories I consume and my weight, as well. (There is a calorie overlay feature on the weight graph.)

The site does allow for some measurements to be entered on the free version, so I've done that twice now, but I also entered more measurement points on my body in an Excel sheet since I didn't want to pay for the added features on the site.

Even though I'm exhausted from all the plumbing I've been doing this week (and the all-nighter I pulled under the kitchen sink on Friday!) I still feel good knowing I'm on my way back to the body I want to have back.

I just hope that my skin doesn't sag once I deflate all this fat out of it! Please, skin, shrink back with the rest of it!!!!

Oh, and boobs... It was nice knowing you two! I am not even going to pretend to think that they are going to stick around!

Human Calendar

Do you like it? I just added it today. I think it's funny.

That Nagging Feeling…

Do you ever get that nagging feeling that you’re forgetting something, or that you should be doing something? I’m getting that right now. Have been, all day.

I have this feeling that I should be getting ready for something, but nothing is really happening. I guess Abby’s birthday is coming up in a few weeks, but Marti has that pretty much covered. I guess we need to order her a Nemo cake, but other than that, I don’t have much else to do for it.

We discussed a possible move to a bigger home (right next door!), but decided not to do that, as it’s not EXACTLY what we wanted and we’d always wish for something a little bit different. Did my mind not let go of that “get ready to move” thing? Am I having phantom “moving pains,” like the phantom pains people have in their arm after losing said arm? I don’t THINK that’s what it is, but I’ve been racking my brain to try to figure out what it could be coming from.

I guess I need to finish the kitchen project that I started (and the bathroom project), but the feeling is more like I need to be planning something, not completing something. I feel like I should be looking things up online and getting ready for something. This feeling is STRONG. But I have no idea what it’s tied to. Not really.

It’s a little unnerving.

I guess it’s like that nesting feeling most women get when they are pregnant. It’s consuming. I feel kind of like that, but we all know there is no baby to be had here. Am I going to become that crazy lady whose body starts having symptoms of a pregnancy so utterly wanted, yet nowhere to be found?

Agh!!!! WHAT is this feeling?????

Is That Vomit????

When I opened my kitchen cabinet to see all of my cleaning supplies, pipes, and interior cabinet walls spewed with God only knows what kind of wet, yellowish, curd-like substance, logic told my mind that it couldn't possibly be vomit UNDER THE SINK!!! But my eyes cannot be fully convinced -- still. Thankfully, my nose was able to back up my mind and make a pretty good effort in trying to convince my eyes that you cannot possibly have that amount of vomit without at least SOME gut wrenching odor, which thankfully, really was absent.

So, what was it, you ask?

It took me a while to figure it out.

I am of the school of thought that all storage in a small home must be fully utilized, so the space under the sink was PACKED! It took a bit of time and effort to get all the curd coated stuff out of there. Of course, there were pools of water here and there, and the reverse osmosis tank to be dealt with as well. (This tank is probably 3 gallons, and now sits approximately an inch lower than anything else in the cabinet due to its weight pushing down into the soggy particle board that is my cabinet base.)

When I finally got everything out and Marti helped me sop up all the muck, I realized there were egg shells the size of lady bugs mixed in with all the slop.

HUH??? Where did THEY come from?

Upon closer inspection, I realized our garbage disposal had a blow out and had been spewing semi-rotted, completely wet garbage into and over all of my under-sink belongings for at least a few days until I discovered it.

Lovely. I still haven't finished redoing the OTHER repair I made to our downstairs toilet a couple weekends ago!

Tonight I went to the home store to get a new disposal, as well as a new faucet while I was at it. What the heck, right? Our old faucet has been limping along for months now, and dealing with one part here, one part there through Delta's lifetime warranty program is getting a bit tedious. There comes a point when you just have to say, "Fuck it!" and buy a new one. (Or, would that be "Pfuck it" since the new on is a Price Pfister faucet? LOL!!!)

So I did.

I selected a basic pull-out faucet to replace the one we have. It was about $100. On the way out, I saw another one on a clearance end cap that WAS about $100, but was marked down to $25 or so. It was entirely different than the one we currently have, but I figured for the price, maybe it would be JUST FINE!

Then I went to pay for it.

They guy tried scanning it, and was laughing each time. It could only mean one thing. Someone was called to assist, and when the advice that was given was followed and the other person came over to assist, I ended up getting a $100 faucet for a PENNY! :)

He did inform me that if I decided I wanted to return it, I would only get my penny back. Um, well, if that's all I paid for it, then why would I have a problem with that? It was almost like, "Here, TAKE this. If it doesn't work out, just toss it or give it to a friend."

A penny.

Seriously!

Now all I need to know is how does one take a cabinet apart to replace a MAJORLY sagging/warped base inside without ruining the face?

And He Says I'm Not Funny!!!!

I tend to be a prankster. Since it’s just the three of us in the house, and 2-year-olds don’t generally respond well to my type of pranks, Marti tends to be the victim of my pranks more often than not.

A little semi-irrelevant history: last week (?) a 2 year old got loose on the streets of the valley by unlocking the front door and wandering off while his grandparents slept. I’ve had 2 separate people that I KNOW tell me that something very similar has happened to them – so it truly can happen to anyone. Those toddlers are crafty and capable of so much more than we give them credit for sometimes!

I ran upstairs to go to the restroom (our downstairs toilet is currently out of service) and thought to myself, “What if she wandered off while I was up here doing my business? I could happen, right?” I then remembered that I had some rinky-dink little door alarms that I had bought over a year ago to put on some of the doors so I’d know if she was up wandering into rooms she shouldn’t be in at night. They didn’t fit the bedroom doors, so they just sat in a box in the garage – until now. I took them out to see what I’d need to do to rig them up to the doors because I have a new motivation to do so with all these toddlers escaping!

Back to the prank…

Marti was outside BBQing last night, so I stuck one on the SLIDING door (which took no rigging up), turned it on, and then watched and waited….

I had to watch to make sure he was coming in with nothing in his hands. It has an ear-piercing 90 decibel alarm and he would NOT be expecting it.

So, I waited. And waited… It didn’t take long until he came towards the door, and, as luck would have it, I didn’t need to stop him, as his hands were empty.

I don’t know what I was thinking!!!! I didn’t get the camera out and have it running, but I should have! Dang it! He jumped – well, actually crouched down – and looked up at it like it was a swarm of bees about to attack! I laughed so hard, and once he caught his breath, he admitted it was funny.

He tells me all the time that I’m not funny, but this week he told me on three separate occasions that I was funny. Last night after that, he stopped to think and said something to the effect of, “You know what? I think you ARE funny after all!”

We’ve been together ten years, and he’s finally seeing this?

;)

As for me, I can’t wipe this shit-eating grin off my face every time I picture him doing his little “duck and cover” move when that alarm went off. I did get one heck of a belly laugh out of that last night!

Random Act of Kindness

I wouldn’t say the diet is going WELL yet, but I am not saying it’s a failure, either. I’m learning about the foods I eat, simply by paying better attention to what I eat and what is actually IN it. So, it’s a learning process, and I still am very encouraged that this will work well EVENTUALLY.

So, anyway, we have vending machines at work and I wanted something sweet today. I decided on a Diet Mountain Dew. Until last week, I didn’t even REALIZE we HAVE Diet Mountain Dew in the machine!

What happened was, the guy who comes and fills all of our machines was there, and it occurred to me to ask him if one of the 5 rows of bottled and canned Mountain Dew could be traded out for Diet Mountain Dew. It was then that he directed me 2 rows up to what he dubbed “The Oddball Row” where there WAS a nice pretty line of Diet Mountain Dew bottles! It was there all along!

I laughed and told him I was so fixated on the consolidated corner of regular Mountain Dews that I didn’t even think to look elsewhere for it. (It was up with all the funky juices and teas that I would never choose.)

He smiled, took out a Diet Mountain Dew, and handed it to me, saying, “Here you go – for holding out so long.” Aw, shucks! Thanks, buddy!

So now, every time I go back the machine, I get an “Aw, shucks” moment again! You see, the price on that row says $1.25, but every time I put my 5 quarters in there and press C5, it then displays $1.00 on the payment screen and gives me a quarter back.

It’s like a little coupon or rebate every time I buy one!

Would it be silly of me to think that he reset that price that day after we spoke? I wonder when he comes back and sees the Diet Mountain Dew row fairly well depleted, if he’ll smile that little smile we all get when we know we’ve done one of those random acts of kindness.

WHY????

Some people just don't think about what they are doing and inadvertently make others angry, while some make a point to go out of their way to piss people off.



I've got absolutely nothing against Hummers or people that drive them. That is not the point of this post. My point is that he is purposely riling people up about a MAJOR drawback to that type of vehicle. In my book, that makes him a classic:



And, while I'm at it, this came up in the related videos of that one and it makes me laugh!



Abby also does not exactly say TRUCK, and it makes me laugh every time she doesn't exactly say truck. I, however, would never set her up to say "bad things" and post it on youtube. Ever. Nope, never. ;)

OK, so she did say BIG GIANT BALLS, but that was different, right? She really DID say big giant balls. And I didn't set her up. I just knew it was going to happen. (That other little kid is still funny!)

Childlike vs. Childish

Childlike would be, say, having the freedom to make a comment as soon as it comes to mind with no concern for what it may make others think -- that is, if you even had a clue that it COULD make others think something other than what you were trying to say.

Childish would be me, getting the camera ready, knowing full well that the last 3 times we've driven by Chase Field on our way home from the arena that Abby has made the same comments, and would be very likely to do so again. (Sorry it's so dark. It was taken with a regular camera, in the car, at night.)



In case you are not familiar with Chase Field, there ARE some BIG GIANT BALLS out in front of the stadium. For some reason, they catch Abby's eye every time we drive by, and every time she makes some exclamation with the same childlike enthusiasm.

Out of Africa

We went to Out of Africa Wildlife Park Labor Day weekend to see the tigers and other wild animals. It's about an hour north of Phoenix, so it wasn't too bad of a drive. It was supposed to be close to 100 degrees and 60% chance of rain, but we took a chance anyway. Turned out it was a good bet!

It wasn't hot because of the impending storm. We had an overcast day most of the day, and cool breezes all day long. It was great! Very close to the end of our day we decided to walk down the trail to see the bears and other animals, but, the rain came in and we just about got soaked! We made a quick U-turn and headed back for the tram stop and waited the storm out with about 50 other people, huddled just out of reach of the rain.



ALL the trams showed up at once, but they were FULL of people! It was feeding time for all the animals, and people were on that tour. There were no trams to be had for QUITE a while. The rain finally let up a little, so we made a break for it and started heading down the hill.

In the course of the day, Abby got to pet 3 HUGE snakes and a tortoise.





She also got to feed a real live tiger!!! (And Abby will tell you she did it two times: "one time up high, and one time down low.")





Admission was a little high ($32.00 each), but they do have a lot of meat eaters to feed, so I can see why they have to charge a high price to get in. (We had a 2-for-1 coupon, though, and Abby was still free!) Feeding the tiger was only $3.00, so we will definitely do that again!

While in line for the tiger feeding, I overheard the woman behind me saying something about having eaten her breakfast and normally she has something in her purse. I picked up on it right away, and asked her if she had low blood sugar. (How many times have I felt that same woozie feeling even though I ate earlier? How awful it must have felt for her to try to make the choice to stand in line for the kids to feed the tiger, knowing she could eventually pass out and ruin the entire day! How bad would she have felt knowing she forgot to pack herself a snack that day?) I couldn't help but butt in and ask her to confirm what I thought. Of course, I was right, so I offered her a pack of Abby's fruit snacks and some almonds. She was a happy camper! (Rack up some karma points for Lisa!)

Also, at the last second before leaving, I had packed some garbage bags in case we got stranded in the rain in the park so we could rig some ponchos. Turned out we didn't need them. However, there was a woman with a new cast trying to cover it with a tiny grocery bag. It was not even coming close to what she needed. Lisa to the rescue again!

It felt good to be able to help some people out, to enjoy the weather we did get, and even when were were stuck under the little ramada at the tram stop, there was a huge tiger pacing just across the road (waiting for his supper, just a few yards down the road) for us to enjoy while we waited.



I had memories of feeding a bear when I was Abby's age, and hoped to get pictures of Abby feeding a giraffe from her own mouth, as I did with the bear as a tot. Alas, the giraffe was not hungry that day, so we'll have to try again another time. (They give everyone a long carrot stick and said you can even stick your head out of the bus with the carrot in your mouth and get a giraffe kiss [blech! but how cool!] if you wanted to.)




All in all, it was a great day! Marti really did make this weekend great by coming up with that idea! A good time was had by all. I'll post the link to some you tube video of the tigers jumping HIGH in the air as soon as I get a chance in the next week or so. Right now I have to get to my projects that have been hanging over my head for a while. I love long weekend! I get to relax one day, go have tons of fun another day, and still have another day to do my projects. I am complete on long weekends! :)

Remember When...? (The picture version)

In response to the "Remember When...?" post, I thought it would be fun to post any pictures I have related to the response(s) I get.

This one is for Jenny. The yard is a mess, but you can see that tree as of April. If you zoom in on the full size one, you'll see what I was actually taking a picture of -- our resident cardinal, sitting on the wall to the right of the tree trunk!

Remember When...?

I'm blatantly stealing this idea for a blog entry by a friend of my friend, Meagan. She said she stole it, too, so I don't think she'll mind if she finds out. :)

Here's how it goes:

Regardless of how well you know me, (even if we have only 'met' online!) write comment on this entry with a "Remember when" moment you have about me. It could be about anything and does not have to be something big, just something...

I hope you'll play along--- I'm looking forward to seeing your comments!

My Eyes Have ESPN

(And not just when it rains!)

So, the other night I was watching my friends and how they were being together and with me, as well as how they were being about the pregnancy books I gave them to borrow or keep. That was the night I gave Abby's crib away, and I was certain I was looking at a pregnant woman.

Well, my friend calls me up today and asks when it is considered fine to tell people.

I, in my blunt manner, responded, "Last week when you were at my house, stupid!"

;)

Turns out they didn't even know then! I guess my eyes saw something, because you know and I know that I knew she was pregnant. There was no doubt in my mind or my heart.

I am so happy FOR them. I pray that spilling the beans this early with such enthusiasm is not rewarded with a dose of "someone else's reality." I mean, we all know it happens. It's just not supposed to happen to us, right? It's brutal whether it happens to you or a friend. I feel awful for even thinking of the possibility, but I've been through it myself, as well as cried uncountable tears for friends who unfortunately were dealt a similar lot. How can I not be afraid for them now?

Is this what infertility eventually does to us? Does it ruin everyone else's good news, too???? Does it make me so cynical that I can't even be free of it while observing someone else's life unfolding before me?

I hope they never taste this. I hope they fall blissfully into a family as large as they hope for. I hope they stress about finding pleasurable ways to prevent pregnancy until they are ready for another. I pray she never even opens the book on infertility problems that was in the batch of books I let them borrow.

Of course I am over the moon for them, despite my own reservations about ANY pregnancy at this point. But for my own selfish reasons, I am especially happy. We used to be closer, but after becoming a mom, it seems I have less time or opportunity to get together with him (and now her who has recently joined his fold). Not that I want to suck people out of the young partying lifestyle, but I am happy for our friendship that we may have more in common once again.

A Sadly Recurring Theme

(See post one door down to read the article.)

If you read regularly or talk to me IRL, you know by now that I am tormented by my in-laws' unfenced pool and their nonchalant attitude about (a) no fence, (b) unlocked doors, and (c) their doggie door.

Yesterday, a boy (the same age as Abby) died in his own family's pool, presumably because it was (a) unfenced, and (b) there was a doggie door leading to the unfenced pool area. His mom left him alone for about 10 minutes to check on his sisters.

I know that family is suffering today and it kills me to think of the thoughts going through each of their heads as they go to bed tonight. Every single one of them will have issues with this for a lifetime, if not at least for years to come.

The sad thing is, this could have been prevented.

Knowing this, and seeing stories JUST LIKE THIS, HOW can my in-laws not accept a free, complete, removable, and REAL pool fence, free of charge? How can they continue to turn a blind eye to the danger in their own back yard?

How can they say they love Abby with all their hearts if they will not do this for her?

Children DIE...

...DIE...

...when things go horribly wrong in just a short period of time like they did for the family in the article mentioned above.

Why don't people see this? Someone explain this to me. Please.

For Reference

Ahwatukee toddler drowns in family's pool


Click HERE to read the article

by Lisa Halverstadt and Matt Culbertson - Aug. 21, 2008 12:36 PM
The Arizona Republic

A 2-year-old boy was found in the bottom of a pool at an Ahwatukee home on Thursday, Phoenix police said. He died a short time later.

When firefighters arrived at the East Brookwood Court home, located near Chandler Boulevard and 32nd Street, the boy wasn't breathing and didn't have a pulse.

The boy's mother had left him downstairs just before noon as she went upstairs to check on her two older daughters, who are home-schooled, Phoenix police Sgt. Leonard Pinuelas said.

When she returned downstairs about 10 minutes later, she looked out her kitchen window and saw her son facedown in the family's play pool, Pinuelas said.

The woman's 8-year-old daughter rushed outside and pulled her younger brother out of the pool, he said.

Within minutes, police and firefighters were on the scene, Pinuelas said.

When they arrived, the boy continued to be without a pulse, Phoenix Fire spokesman Courtney Jenkins said.

The 2-year-old was taken to Desert Samaritan Hospital in critical condition. He later was pronounced dead at the hospital.

Before her son was taken to the hospital, the woman told authorities he may have bypassed the home's locked doors and gotten to the pool through a dog door, Pinuelas said.

What Does the Fishy Say?

I have no idea where she comes up with this stuff, but it kills me sometimes!



(For the record, no, I was not at a loss for words in this video clip. I was prompting her (off camera) to think of an animal of her choice at the point where she said "CAT.")

Help When I Needed It

I'm trying to get back into shape. I've been exercising and now want to pay close attention to what I eat, because truthfully, I have no idea how many calories I need in a day, nor how many I have been eating.

In an effort to look up how many calories were in something I ate today, as well as find what the maximum calories, fat, etc. should be for my goal, I ran across this site:

The Daily Plate

Not only was I able to see how many calories were in my lunch (because the EXACT item was listed in detail) but I was able to put in a reasonable weight loss goal and have the program tell me what my maximum calories should be for each day.

In addition to that, there are countless exercises to enter on the chart to fit anyone's workout routine. It figures out how many calories you burn and subtracts it from your caloric intake for the day to give you your net calories taken in. (I noticed that you can go so far as to deduct the calories burned while attending class if you are a student! Of course, there is a caution included with this entry, if you chose it, but I still found that one kind of funny. I was also semi-impressed with the detail these people have gone to in order to compile all of this for people like me to use.)

I can enter any food item on there by clicking on it (It says, "I ate this!") and telling it how many portions I had of it. So, even the creamer in my coffee is accounted for! (80 creamer calories in a large coffee!! FUCK! I may as well skip it and have a Coors Light at the end of the day at that rate!)

I entered my measurements and weight and there is one point on each graph to start me off today. If I stick to this, and if it is accurate in all the math, then I should be back to where I want to be just in time for Thanksgiving!

I'm lovin' the Fail Blog today!

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And OMFG! WHAT was this ad man THINKING!?!?!? Oh, dang - you have to click on it to see the caption. It cuts off on Blogger


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Speaking of OMFG:

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