Car Issues

I drive Marti's old car. We got an SUV, so he drives that now. His old car is fine. It's a Honda and I like Hondas. But, it's starting to piss me off!

Yesterday the back passenger window dropped down into the door and would not come back up! This is the 3rd (out of 4) windows to do this in the past year!! The first one we took to the dealer and it was like $400 to fix it. The second, Marti took to a local shop and they did it for just under $200. This one I had done at the same place for the same price again.

The 4th window doesn't work either, but at least it's stuck in the UP position, and not a real security issue at least. Oh, and if it was my drive through window, I'd be all over getting that one fixed, too!

So, all 4 windows have shit the bed on me since I took over this car. Marti, in his rage and haste, proclaimed that he will never buy another Honda, and that I was not to ever roll the windows down again.

[snicker]

As if. I told him that was unreasonable.

After visiting the shop, I also shared that they said this happens all the time here, and to all makes of cars.

My theory is it was because it's a black car and it got hotter in the door than with our other cars. That's why it only happened to this one.

So, the window issue is under control now.

BUT, it's got an ELECTRICAL problem, too! It shuts down while I'm driving it! The tachometer drops suddenly and the radio dies, but only for a second, then it turns right back on. I am, of course, still rolling along, and sometimes barely notice it if I'm not listening to the radio. But that doesn't mean it's not happening. And it's unnerving!!!

When I was teaching, I made him switch cars with me when it started so I didn't have to worry about not making it in on time with 35 obnoxious 8th graders standing in the hall waiting for me and no lesson plans typed up all pretty on my desk. I was nearly crying the first time it happened and I had that threat of not making it to school the whole time I was driving in to work! (It happened as soon as I got on the freeway a couple of times, and then about once a minute or so for the last 15 miles of my drive)

At least with the new job, if I'm late it's not going to be the end of the world. It will suck and I will look bad, but not as bad as if I was still teaching and this happened.

So, I'm driving this thing around, knowing it could die at any minute. And summer is looming. Did I mention it gets a little warm in Phoenix in the summer?

I asked the guy at the shop if he could check it out while I was in there yesterday. His response: "I can't do a thing if it's intermittent. I have to wait until it fails."

Great. I can't fix it even if I wanted to now. I'm stuck with this monster of a threat sitting in the back seat everywhere I drive. At least I don't drive anywhere with Abby in the car during the hot time of the day, so that if it does fail when she's with me, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

You know, this is why I got rid of my Civic! I was student teaching and it kept dying! Except when it died, it DIED! I'd be stuck on the side of the road for 15 minutes sometimes longer before it would start up again. They couldn't figure that one out either! I got sick of it, didn't want to be a "no show" at school for my student teaching, and traded it in on a Nissan on an impulse purchase the day before the registration was due on the Civic. I didn't even tell my ex-husband I was buying a car! I just came home with it. Done. I was so done with sitting on the side of the road unexpectedly and not knowing if I should call for help or just wait it out.

Will I end up in the same boat again? At least (so far) the Accord keeps rolling when it happens, so maybe not.

And I can't help but think, am I doing something to cause this???? Is it something about the way I drive?

Putting the Pieces Together

I have been on the job 4 days now and I'm starting to "get it." Some things were not difficult to do, but if I had to do the same thing in a slightly different way, I couldn't do it. I locked up. It's because I had no context for what I was doing to make those small leaps from one method to the next. (Each location I work with does things slightly differently.)

Today the woman I am replacing showed me some small errors I made yesterday. At the time I was doing it, I didn't know what I was doing or why. As she originally was showing me how to do this thing, I must have missed a step as I was taking notes on the process and the keystrokes I'd need to use. So, I kept screwing it up.

Also, she uses WAY too many pronouns for my liking, and it makes for a lot of very unclear instructions. "You do that just like you did that other one, and this is just like those that we did before." I know "before" isn't a pronoun, but it also is not concise, as I need these instructions to be if I am to understand WTF she is talking about. I mean, BEFORE? Before when? I've been there 4 days. Does she mean an hour ago? Two hours ago? A day ago?

There are a lot of processes I'm learning, none of which apparently have a name. :( I am never more lost as when she tries to explain something to me verbally. I need visuals. I need to touch the keyboard and flip through the papers myself. And if you're going to describe something verbally, for the love of Pete, please use concrete terms instead of vague pronouns.

Anyway, I returned to one stack today to finish up where some pieces were waiting to come in since the last time I worked on it. It was nice. Instead of just thinking there was something wrong, I was able to pinpoint exactly WHAT was wrong, how to get back to it in the system, and how to fix it. That was a nice moment today. That, and learning there's another guy in the office that doesn't work as early (and leave as early) as the rest. Turns out he used to sit in the desk I'm sitting in, do this job, and actually developed some of the organization methods they use in my office. If I get stuck after everyone leaves at 4pm, I still have someone to look to for info now. Phew! What a relief!

All in all, I think I'm going to like it a lot. I love watching the people work outside as the planes come and go. I feel like "we" really do something necessary, which I need to feel good about my job. I have had jobs before where I wonder if society would even notice if we were gone. With THIS company now, people would REALLY notice if we were gone! :) The office is quiet, which is a nice change from the science lab with the 8th graders. :) I can get a lot more work done. When I get work done, I feel better about myself. This is a good thing.

Also, you gotta love when owners are not too "big" or too busy to stop and eat some of Abby's excess Easter candy from the basket on my desk. ;) I love when they sit and pick their favorite colors. I find that endearing, and I don't even know them yet. They just seem so REAL! That is so refreshing!!!

Easter Pictures - by popular demand ;) (Suzy!!!)

So, I was talking to an online friend and she asked when I was going to post pictures of Abby here. Well, she had an adorable little dress on for Easter, so why not start peppering the blog with her now?

And because she was so serious in the first two, here's one of her laughing at Grandma: (If you click on it to look at the larger one, you can see her upper lip dimples!!!)



I'm sure I'll add more pictures later when I figure out how to link thumbnails (HEY KAREN! HOOK A SISTER UP!), but these will do for now. (ETA: Thanks for the help, Karen! I think I got it now.)

As for the rest of Easter, I had more candy than I know what to do with, so I brought it all to my new job to shamelessly pawn off on my new coworkers.

We had extra ham because my in-laws did not make it, so I'm thinking about a ham and white bean soup. Mmmmmmmm!

And, I think I have about 24 eggs, so I'll be deviling here shortly! Oh! I can make egg salad for my lunches, too! I love making egg salad WITHOUT ONIONS! Nobody ever makes it without onions and I can never eat it. :( This time it will be my salad, my way. Hmph!

Aw Geez! Another Daily Dumbass!

One of my dogs has really bad allergies. We have to give her pills so she doesn't scratch herself raw.

She was running low, so I called in for a refill and picked that up last week. Now she has two of the old ones left and I couldn't find the new bottle! I was cleaning up the kitchen yesterday and put it somewhere, but I couldn't remember where!

It was a safe spot. I had someone's dog eat a whole bottle of meds once before when I spent the night at a friend's, so I didn't leave it out. (Thankfully, that ordeal turned out fine.)

I looked in all the cabinets and drawers. I thought maybe I stuck it in my purse.

Gosh, where did I put that? She NEEDS these pills and the vet is closed Sunday and Monday. If I didn't find it soon, I'd have to call and beg for another refill and spend another $40 on something I already bought!

I put them someplace safe. Someplace that makes sense. I was logical about it. I remember thinking that as I tucked them.....oh....where did I tuck them?

It was up away from where Abby can get them.

Oh, well. Just use one of the old ones and it WILL turn up, right?

So, I go to get one of the required treats in order to get the pill into the dog...

Sometimes I'm so smart I come all the way back around to stupid!

Tell Me I'm NOT Getting Sick!!!

It's just a cold, right? Maybe allergies?

I have been fighting this crud all week, and wouldn't you know it, the day I DID got to the doctor for something unrelated, I was feeling better, so I didn't mention this. Now it's back with a vengeance.

TMI warning!!!

I start and end my day with a towel over my head and my head over a sink of HOT water, trying to get the steam in to loosen it all up in there. It's a pretty sight, my working to get it all out.

So, do I go to the doctor again, or do I just suck it up and let my body work it out?

I heard green means an infection. I have it in my nose and coming up out of my lungs now. I don't have time off from the new job yet -- heck, I haven't even started yet! So, if I go to a doctor, it will be an urgent care center. $75 to walk in the door and it could just be a cold.

I hate this.

What should I do?

My Daily Dumbass

You saw the title of this post and thought I was going to rip on someone else, didn't you??? Well, I'm not. "My Daily Dumbass" will be posted whenever I have a dumbass moment, only because I laugh at other people all the time and enjoy an opportunity to share the same of myself. So, feel free to laugh at me for any of my "Daily Dumbass" moments.

Today was when I realized I forgot to put out mustard for the corned beef and cabbage I went to so much trouble to make. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, if I didn't realize it until the day after, I guess that meant it was good enough without the requisite mustard, right? And if my mom and dad wanted some, they would have surely asked, right? I'm no shrinking violet that would cry if they corrected my hostess skills and had to remind me to put mustard on the table.

Oh, well. I'll be sure to remember it next decade when I remember to get corned beef again.

Progress

Sweet! I figured out how to embed a video on the blog. I'm pretty pleased with myself for having accomplished it in one try.

While I was at it, I added a site meter. I will need to fix it so it doesn't count my own visits. That would be lame to count myself as a visitor.

Nothing like boosting my self confidence just before starting the new job. :)

Back to Work Soon

Tomorrow is my last "day off" between jobs. It is glorious outside, so when Mom asked if I wanted to go out to lunch, I jumped at the chance! Marti is home during the day, so he got to join us. What a treat!

We found a restaurant nearby that had available patio seating and we enjoyed our meal and the weather, and a drink. Ahhhhhh! This is the life!

I'm just starting to get used to this and now it's all but time to go back to work. :( I have tomorrow off, then the weekend (which I would have had off anyway, so I'm not counting that) and then my first day on the new job. I'm strangely not nervous. But I am bummed that my life of leisure is over. I don't think I even get sick time for a year! (OUCH!)

ON ANOTHER NOTE:
I came home yesterday to some WEIRD flowing shadows on my dining room wall. It took me a while to figure out what it was, but eventually I did.

It was the shadow of our beta fish, Gil! The sun was just peeking through the kitchen door, through his little bowl, and onto the wall. As he swam around, his shadow did too -- on my wall! I'll try to catch it again today on video and post it. It was truly intriguing!



AND FINALLY:
I'm cooking corned beef with cabbage tonight. You can look at it as late for St Patty's day, or early for Easter, depending on who's customs you're following.

I learned "corned" refers to the salt curing of the beef so it doesn't spoil. Some of the salt crystals they used to use were as large as corn kernels.

You learn something new every day, right? Well, at least we hope to.

Not my Best Night as a Mommy

Today was great. I need to be productive to feel valuable. I need to feel valuable to get out of my funks. I got a lot done in the back yard today in preparation for Easter Dinner -- and it's all very VISIBLE when you walk out in the back yard, so I got a high sense of satisfaction from my efforts.

I picked up Abby early so she could play while it was still light. I know she's been wanting to ride in her little jeep she got from Mom and Ron for Christmas and it's been in the garage hiding for a couple of months since it lost its "brand-new-ness." I figured I'd put the jeep outside and let her play while I continued working. A win-win situation.

Oh, crap. If you are reading this, you may not know about her eating issues. Ugh. She eats like a bird, to the point where specialists have been involved. (More on that later?)

OK, so after play, we came in for dinner. Her favorite it mac and cheese. Easy enough, right? Well, she takes an hour to eat a half a cup of prepared mac and cheese!!!! It drives me nuts. I try to let her lead so she doesn't feel rushed and puke (oh, yea, she pukes a lot when eating...), but then it drags out for.ev.er!!!!!!!

I am thinking I may need to step up as a parent and SHOW her how it needs to be. I got her new baby doll clothes today and thought if I told her she could play with them after dinner, she'd get down to it on her own. Right? Right??????

No.

Dilly, meet Dally. Dally, meet Dilly.

O.M.F.G!!!!!

Well, at least I don't have 130 papers in my car waiting to be graded anymore while this is all happening!

Eventually, she had a meltdown over all of this!!! It was time for bed, she still needed a bath, she hadn't eaten her dinner - was actually faking it by putting it in her mouth and then BLEH-ing it on the floor. (I would say spitting it on the floor, but that sounds too forcible for what she was actually doing. She just let it drop from her mouth.)

She was yelling at me from the kitchen to go away. (Rip my heart out, why don'tcha', kid!) She was yelling at me for what she WANTED, but do I give in to her like that, or is now when the groundwork is supposed to be laid? A friend with no kids mentioned her observation that I cave to her crying, but on that occasion it was purely selfish so I could enjoy my friend's company that day without interruption.

Is there a happy medium? Is there an appropriate response to your child screaming at you?

I gave her space and sat on the stairs, but it just dragged on (kind of like this post) until I had to do SOMETHING different. She was going to puke if I didn't get her to stop crying. Luckily, she had boogers that needed wiping, and that turned out to be our common ground.

Who would have thought!?!?!?!

Anyway, we made up over the Puffs Plus and the rest of the night was great until she rested her head on the pillow and hit the reset button.

Ahhhhhh.

Bye Bye Baby (clothes)

Today was bitter sweet. I have a good friend who is due on tax day. It's a girl. She has a boy that was born 3 weeks after Abby. I'm not pregnant along with her this time. I was still recovering from my last miscarriage when she called to tell me she thought she could be pregnant. So, not being pregnant with her again is more than just NOT being pregnant. It's that I WAS pregnant again, and would have been pregnant with her again had it not been for the miscarriage.

I offered up all of Abby's clothes in case she needs a wardrobe and she accepted, along with some other gear I had. Today I drove it out to her and we went through the bins (six 72-gallon plastic tubs!), and boxes (2 Costco sized Huggies boxes and one Costco sized wipes box), and bags (3 small trashcan liner bags) piece by piece deciding what she wanted or not. It took us from 1:30 until 5 (including 2 snack breaks).

Side note: it's amazing how stains show up AFTER you wash and put baby clothes away!

It was fun seeing her again. Even though I've been off work, I hardly saw her at all. I have no idea what I did with my (nearly) 2 months off!!!!

It was good to get rid of at least some of the junk that clutters my home. (Although I did manage to still take home 5 bins of stuff she didn't need - just not as tightly packed as it was when I brought it.)

I didn't realize until after I left that I was sad. It was nothing she said or did. It was just that feeling that she was pregnant and I was not. It snuck up on me when I was not expecting it. Looking at all those tiny newborn clothes was hard. Giving them to her was NICE, but still hard because of what it ended up meaning when I thought about it.

She kept saying she couldn't guarantee there would not be stains when she was done with them and to not give her anything important. Well, it's just clothes, first of all. I have no idea if I'll ever need them at all, let alone have a GIRL if I am lucky enough to carry a pregnancy to term again. Also, most of what I had was hand me downs from my aunt and gifts. Why not put them to use?

But still, after I left I was a little sad that I parted with it all and that I desperately want to need them back, but may not. I think that is what got to me.

Dammit! Just when I thought I was coming out of my funk.

Phhhttt!

Little Breakdown

I think I had a little breakdown today. All the stress of job hunting (or not in some cases when I should have been) finally flooded out.

I think I'm getting a bladder infection since I feel like I have to pee and then there is just a dribble. I'm prone to them. Something about the shape of my bladder, I think. Anyway, I call my new doc to see if I can get in, and there's a spot this afternoon. I take it, but then she takes it back!!! I can't get in to see her because I'm a new patient (technically) since I have not been to see her since 2002! I have to wait 3 days now! I dread how this will feel in 3 days! At least I'm not starting the new job yet. Nothing like feeling you're going to pee your pants on a new job!

So, I hung up with my later appointment and started crying. I thought I had a grip and left the bathroom where I was hiding to make the call (my house was loud today!) and I SLAMMED my finger in the door!

That was it! I snapped! Poor Marti had no idea what to do to make it better because he had no idea what started all of this! It wasn't the finger. It wasn't even the doctor. It was this last month spilling over.

So, that's it. I cried like a big baby today. And I feel better finally.

It's been weird being home with Marti all this time. I have WANTED to cry a few times in the frustration of the job hunt, but didn't do it so he wouldn't be subjected to it. I just had no outlet for my frustration and it was starting to show. With me home 24/7 and with him home 24/7 neither of us got any "me" time.

It will be nice to get back to normal!!!