I think I had a little breakdown today. All the stress of job hunting (or not in some cases when I should have been) finally flooded out.
I think I'm getting a bladder infection since I feel like I have to pee and then there is just a dribble. I'm prone to them. Something about the shape of my bladder, I think. Anyway, I call my new doc to see if I can get in, and there's a spot this afternoon. I take it, but then she takes it back!!! I can't get in to see her because I'm a new patient (technically) since I have not been to see her since 2002! I have to wait 3 days now! I dread how this will feel in 3 days! At least I'm not starting the new job yet. Nothing like feeling you're going to pee your pants on a new job!
So, I hung up with my later appointment and started crying. I thought I had a grip and left the bathroom where I was hiding to make the call (my house was loud today!) and I SLAMMED my finger in the door!
That was it! I snapped! Poor Marti had no idea what to do to make it better because he had no idea what started all of this! It wasn't the finger. It wasn't even the doctor. It was this last month spilling over.
So, that's it. I cried like a big baby today. And I feel better finally.
It's been weird being home with Marti all this time. I have WANTED to cry a few times in the frustration of the job hunt, but didn't do it so he wouldn't be subjected to it. I just had no outlet for my frustration and it was starting to show. With me home 24/7 and with him home 24/7 neither of us got any "me" time.
It will be nice to get back to normal!!!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Little Breakdown
Posted by Lisa at 12:31 PM
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3 comments:
yay! i can see your blog and comment to you, too! i get in major funks - what do you usually do to get out of one?
what does your husband do?
one of those jobs is going to come through! the right one!!
xoxoxo
~j
Hey! My first comment! (Well, Jess tried, :) so I have to give her props still.)
Usually my funks pass on their own, but if it gets bad enough, I need to be productive. I start projects. I feel GOOD when I actually get to finish one. I plant flowers and sometimes forget to water them later, but getting them in the ground feels good.
When we were in painting mode, that was AWESOME! I worked about 2 years on what turned out to be Abby's nursery. I kept miscarrying, so it was a long, drawn out process of finishing that nursery. And a bit therapeutic, as well.
Cleaning used to be fun in ways, but now it's just a chore since we've let things go in the clutter dept. Having a kid in a house that's WAY too small for us has hampered my efforts at staying on top of a household.
Marti is a bartender and works nights, so it's just me most of the time here with Abby. My mom retired and my dad (step, but I'll explain them in another thread) sort of retired, so they come out a lot to visit us for dinner and fun.
On the job front, I took the accounting one and look forward to starting this coming Monday. It was kind of crazy thinking about all the different directions I could have gone in that job hunt. I really think this is the best option, though.
Hope you're feelin better, Lisa!
I get in those funks from time to time myself. I hate it. Feels like you're in the bottom of a pit or a well and you can see the surface but just can't figure out how to claw your way out.
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