It's My Blog and You Can Comment If You Want To

My view of a blog is that it starts as one person publishing his or her thoughts, inviting others to comment. Readers are by no means obligated to comment, but if they do, a meaningful post is more appreciated when it lets me know what my post makes you think of. At least that's how I see it.

If something I post makes you think about something even remotely similar that you have experienced, feel free to comment on that here. I am not territorial about my topics. I am open to conversation and love finding a common thread!

Just like greeting cards, I find thoughtful responses of personal substance more meaningful than say, just signing your name, wishing me the best, and handing it to me.

And by all means, if I ask a question in any one of my posts, feel free to answer it constructively. I'm up for suggestions and dialogue - even if the question may have started out as rhetorical. An old friend once shared a thought that I love to live by: When you stop learning new things, you are dead. I like to keep living and enriching my life, not just have my same thoughts mindlessly reinforced by others.

A Year of Binging, A Night to Purge

Feel free to let me know if I missed a spot.

I Melt With You

I have two dogs. They are both really sweet in VERY different ways.

Sydney has a little stub of a tail (naturally) and it has longish hair on it, so we call it her "swishie" when she wags it. Joey, on the other hand, is a breed that typically has their tails docked, and her breeder went overboard. You have to REALLY look to see that she even has a tail! REALLY!

Anyway, Joey is second down on the totem pole, so she sleeps in the dog (toddler) bed we got when Sierra was sick. (Longer story for another time maybe.) Syd sleeps curled up in the crook of my bent knees until the morning, when she comes up to greet us if she thinks we're waking up.

So, morning comes, and I feel her lay down between Marti and me, as if she were just another little person in the bed with us. I am SO tired, so I didn't even open my eyes.

Against my thigh, I could feel it: SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH!!!!!

I ignore.

Then there was a pause, and then more: SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH SWISH!!!!!

I hear Marti snicker under his breath.

At this point, I cannot resist.

I pry open my eyelids, and there she is. Sydney is laying back to back with me. I expected to see her looking at Marti, but instead, she was TOTALLY looking over her shoulder at ME, waiting for me to wake up! She was wagging her tail at/on me in anticipation of the mere opening of my eyes!

Dear God, please, if it means finding such complete joy out of something as mundane as my master opening his/her eyes, let me come back as a dog in my next life!

I would have given anything at that moment to have just gotten a picture of her face! Those big brown eyes, her funny little doggie eyebrows... I melted right there!

The Secret [room] is Out

You probably skimmed over my post about the secret room where I work. It was adjacent to the ladies room, just outside of my office. It would have been great if....

Anyway, it's now wide open and there are 3 vending machines in there. One of them is even a DOUBLE! Woo hoo!

Can you just hear the GENUINE thrill in my voice?

:(

Of course, I don't think they are obligated to hold on to this secret room for my far fetched hope of needing such a private space later. They don't even KNOW I want another, let alone if I would be capable of having another. But it still sucks to watch yet one more thread of my dream ripped away in front of me.

Overly dramatic? Maybe. But I take my family/reproductive dreams seriously. So blow me if you don't like it.

You Can Take the Girl Out of the Trash, But You Can't Take the Trash Out of the Girl

So, here it is! My fancy schmancy sprinkler system (complete with purple primer dripping from every joint)!

The rose bush in the pot is at the beginning and the fountain is at the end. All plants seem to be getting their fair share now.



Actually, there is a basil plant on the left (which was just trimmed back for a pasta dish I made for 6 people a couple of weekends ago - it will grow back though) and a mini rose that didn't look like it was going to make it in my new office, so I liberated it.

Here is what the rose bush looks like in better weather, so it's worth saving from the state that it's in right now!



I had the PVC on the outside of the flowers here before, but the little tiny sprinklers I got were not as adjustable as they claimed to be. So, I moved the loop inward and to be honest, I barely see THAT part of it. (Well, maybe it's because I'm too distracted by the huge white pipes circling my yard now!)


And here is the snake pit!

Water, Water Everywhere

Well, I finished my half-assed sprinkler system today! It actually WORKS!

I was concerned that with my entire yard being watered from one hose with questionable pressure, that it might not have enough pressure to make the water go all the way to the end of the "loop" around the yard.

I was also concerned that the flowers would flood and the trees would get just a drop. Well, that is happening, but I know how to fix that, it's just going to take time.

You see, for every flower bubble I turn down a notch, that will increase the water coming out of another lesser-served bubbler elsewhere. So, it's a juggling act of sorts. Also, I couldn't do all of that today because when I purged the pipes before adding the bubblers, I already flooded the areas, so there's no telling at that point which ones are getting how much water. At least not till the water clears and I can get a fresh picture of what turning the faucet on will do to each area.

So, I have a sprinkler system again! We used to have sprinklers in the grass, but took the grass out and capped that line. It would have been SO great to just tap back into that line, but the fuck-wad that put the concrete in for us cut the electricity to the valve box and not it's all concreted in with the nearest access to it being a good 10 feet away. I'd rather have PVC above ground for the dogs to eyeball than have electrical wires above ground at this point -- with their chewing track record!!!!

Yes, I used to have drip lines as well, but those went away long before the concrete fiasco. What IS it about drip heads and drip lines that is so irresistible to dogs?

I'm not too concerned about the PVC being visible at this point because it's so damned hot out there that I don't have to look at it anyway. I just want my plants to make it this year without having to spend 30-45 minutes sweating our asses off outside every day. When things cool down and we venture outside again, I may either disassemble the contraption enough to put it away somewhere, or else put in the effort to bury it. MAYBE, just maybe, I'll look into what it would take to hook it up to a real valve box instead of the hose if I go to all that effort. I don't know. I'm not sure I care.

OH! I also got a timer for the hose, but couldn't use it. I'll save it for vacations or weekends away, but as it is, there's no way I'm leaving that hooked up full time. Our water faucets outside HUM throughout the entire house if you leave the water on but the hose blocked (with a sprayer or, say, a sprinkler system attached). It would have been great to have it go off every day on it's own, but I don't want to listen to the hum 23 1/2 hours every day just to have that 30 minutes of low maintenance in the back yard.

Like I said, if we are gone, it's ON! Who knows, maybe it will even scare the snake away by making this place just inhabitable.

Partly Sunny

Another weather metaphor, Lisa?

Well, yes, it's my blog and I will use them if I want to!

Anyway, about all that depression stuff. As always, it seems to be lifting! Yeah!

No, I'm not absolutely manic right now, so don't take that "Yeah!" above too seriously. But I am happy that I seem to be feeling better -- both mentally and physically.

For some reason, Thursday morning I woke up and did not feel the same as I had been feeling for the weeks prior. I have no idea what changed, but SOMETHING is different. (THANK GOD!)

I was able to semi-jog down the stairs at work again, and even spun in a circle at the bottom when a coworker asked if I was feeling better. It was like a "ta-da!" moment for me since she asked at the top of the stairs. She knew I was feeling very wobbly, so it was good to be able to show her how much better I was feeling. Oh, who am I kidding? It was good to be able to show MYSELF how much better I was feeling!!!!

So, I'm not saying, "I'm cured." I know that's not true, as this comes and goes. But, it is good to know it has passed (again) and that I can get back to living my life instead of just finding a way to make it through each day.

Perhaps I pushed it a little by constructing a sprinkler system in the middle of a July afternoon, but as I've said before, nothing makes me feel better than getting shit done.

The PVC is almost all hooked together and there are sprinkler outlets for all of the plants. I just have to put the risers and the bubblers on each outlet and then find a way to hook the whole thing up to....

THE HOSE!

That's right! I am doing all this to hook it up to a hose. The reason why I can't hook it into our existing sprinkler box out back is a "whole 'nother story." For now, this will have to do. As long as my plants get water and make it through the summer, I don't care what it looks like. If it works well enough, maybe I'll go to the trouble to make it a legit sprinkler system.

Ilion, NY

Hi!

Do I know who you are?

AAAAACCCCCKKKKKKK!

I have 2 words and the rest of the story will follow:

F-ing SNAKE!


So, I'm out in the sweltering heat today sweating my butt off trying to rig some sort of a sprinkler system just to get my plants to survive the summer without my having to go water with the hose (in the heat) every day. Let's not even talk about what a weekend away can do to my yard!!!

Anyway, I was down on my hands and knees working in the marigolds and saw a lizard tail. Then I remembered it looked a LOT like the snake we saw a couple weeks ago.

I followed that lizard tail all the way down to the base to make sure it wasn't a rattler -- it wasn't. Then I followed it all the way up to the top and the little F-er was staring right at me from behind a yellow marigold!!!!!

W.T.F!?!?!?!

So, in my brazen confidence, knowing it's going to scoot away any second, I touch the tail - just because I can. Because he scared me and I wanted to reassert myself over that little bugger!

Keep in mind that I'm 99% sure he's not venomous now and I've had a snake from my classroom once before, so I am cool with that as long as they don't freakin' STARTLE me!!!! (I've been bitten twice, and I know that smarts, but it's not something to be afraid of.)

S/he is about 2 feet long and at most, as big around as my thumb.

As soon as I touched it, it raced right at where my knees were, under the gardening pad I was kneeling on (and bumped around a little while s/he was at it!), then between my feet and into the oleander bush.

I'm ok. I'm ok. I'm ok. smilies-roflma.gif smilies-roflma.gif smilies-roflma.gif smilies-roflma.gif

I figure it was the end of that for the day and went about my business.

Wrong!

I had to go adjust something in the marigolds and guess who was hanging out in there again????? Little F-er!!!!!! S/he gave me a little start, then s/he raced along the wall, then along the perpendicular wall, and out a water vent in the wall. I blocked it up with rocks, but I know it will be back.

Is it wrong of me to kind of like it? I've seen my dog around it and she won't go near it. I don't think anyone would, actually! (Except silly me, but that wasn't by choice. I just made the most of it while I was there.)

I just wish it would leave my lizards alone. I saw it trying to eat one last time I saw it in my yard. icon_sad.gif

We live RIGHT off the desert, and I saw a kangaroo rat (mouse, actually) hopping along in my neighbor's yard not too long ago. This snake can probably make sure that the mice don't get into my yard, right? Talk about the most natural form of pest control!

Seeds of Bitterness

I have to say it.

The in-laws probably don't read this anyway, so who gives a shit?

I'm becoming bitter. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I will probably never have another child, but there are things that still upset me in the decision making process.

As you can read below (if you so desire) there are plenty of reasons WITHIN our own home to come to the unfortunate decision we're bound to make that I feel is going to slap me upside the head soon.

What I have not addressed yet is my BLAME on factors outside our household for this decision.

It's hard to say you're willing to take on another child in your home when you are tired and feel there are times you can barely deal with the one you already have. If date nights are few and far between, it's easy to see how the responsibility for a second child would crush what little connection you have with your spouse on those nights.

When grandparents live in the same town and do not make themselves (safely) available, it's also easy to get a little bitter. Until today, it never occurred to me that this may play a part in why we may never have another child.

Perhaps I'm just being childish and just trying to place blame on anyone else. But, even though that might be partly true, I believe the former is also mostly true. If my in-laws had been a little more friendly to our current child-rearing (safety) needs, we would not have felt so drained and would have possibly felt a little more energetic in our TTC efforts as we round the corner approaching 40. As it is, we have had only my own mother and step-father to depend on for an occasional break, and that's when they are not up north (understandably) taking care of their own business.

I swear to God, next time my mother-in-law asks me how we're doing on that front, I just might snap and let her know what a BIG help she and her husband have been in our decision NOT to have more children. How do you think that one's gonna sit?

Wine Chiller

I have a wine chiller.

I put it around a bottle of wine.

I let it sit for a while, thereby defrosting for a while.

When I picked it up, it squirted me.

I naturally set it down.

Then I tried it again.

It squirted me again!

And again! (Each time from the same twin holes on a different angle/panel of the 6 panels of the chiller)

WTF?

As I look at it, there are exactly 2 holes on the top and the bottom of each of the 6 panels. How does this thing work?

Wouldn't each of the compartments be filled with a gel that freezes or something? What is this shit that is squirting on me from these twin holes on each panel? It's not the gel that's supposed to freeze, is it? Are there holes to let condensation out? If so, why not just use a messy ice bucket in the first place?

This product gets my "bad design" award of the week. I'm not happy with it.

Buzz Kill

I feel like such a buzz kill lately.

I am pretty sure I'm in a full blown depression, albeit doing my best to "suck it up."

I called in sick to work last Monday with "stomach issues" and also because I was feeling wobbly. OK, that sounds weak, but here's the scoop. Possible TMI warning, so be warned. I had a gurgly stomach, so I was afraid of what was coming. Also, I had severe cramps in my abdomen, so I thought maybe I had just eaten something bad. There was never any "fall out" so to speak, but the threat, along with feeling like I was going to fall over really had me wanting to just go back to bed for the day. -- And I did, for 99% of the day and night until I had to go to work the next morning.

So, that was last week.

This week, more of the same wobbly stuff. I hang on with both hands when going up and down the stairs at work -- which is often lately, so it SUCKS! I'm constantly bracing myself when I stand up or try to sit. I've caught myself dragging my feet (literally) at work and in the parking lot on my way to my car.

This has only been in the last couple of weeks, so in that sense, I wonder what's the deal? Or am I really THAT tired? Am I really THAT depressed about everything? Or is it a hypochondriac gene - that I thought I did NOT inherit from my father - rearing its ugly head?

Perhaps it's a sign. I've been very sad about the impending decision that Marti and I have to make. Will we or will we not try for another child. All signs point to the latter. Especially since our biggest argument AGAINST trying is that we are so tired. Is this God just making it easier for me to seal the deal and walk away? If so, why is this not COMFORTING to me? Why am I even MORE depressed now?

I have a feeling that it's just depression that is making me lack even the most basic level of energy to get through my days. That is what must be causing me to drag ass through my days.

The problem I have is that it has usually passed on its own in less time than this. So, is this sadness mixed with depression? I understand there is a difference. I mean, it's logical to be sad about certain things that happen. But what about when those things don't have a logical end? (Say, like, infertility, or family size not being what you always imagined it being?) How do you just get over it?

I know someone indirectly that has stated that she's OK with how things have similarly turned out for her. I desperately want to ask her advice on how to find peace with this. I, unfortunately, do not know her well enough to ask such a personal question. Also, I would feel like an idiot asking, since I have my one child and she has none at this point. I do understand that, while the situations are similar, they are infinitely different. Never has one been such a big number.

And yet, I know someone with two children that I know must be feeling the same pain that I am for different reasons. Who am I to disregard her sadness because she has two and I have only one? I will not. I cannot.

Another friend tried to get me to join a book club last year. I borrowed one book that was pretty good, but did not make it to that meeting. I bought the next book and thought it was a huge waste. However, at this point in my life, the one tiny message I took from that book helps me when seeing each of these amazing women around me - each in their own set of circumstances. What I took from the book was that, no matter what you are dealing with, it is YOUR reality. You are feeling YOUR feelings about it. It doesn't matter if someone has had it better or worse than you. Your feelings are justified, as are those of the people around you. I try to keep that in mind when questioning the reactions of myself or those around me.

My problem now is questioning MYSELF. Any decisions I make at this point will be final, and I am not sure I'm ready for that. The problem is, I don't have time to hem and haw about this. And, in all reality, the decision could already have been made for me and I just don't know it yet. Perhaps by refraining from TTC, I am saving myself that trouble of yet another miscarriage.

I don't know.

What I do know is that I'm spent. I'm just spent.

Things That Have Been on My Mind, But I Just Don't Have the Energy to Write Much About Today

1. I'm so sick of bigotry. Not to say I don't appreciate a harmless, non-HATE based joke about any number of groups from time to time. We can all stand to poke a little fun at ourselves, so why not others? Is that OK to say in the context of this post? But, I've about had it with the hate mongers in this world. That's about as far as I think I can go right now without bringing myself too far back into "the-situation-that-will-never-resolve."

2. I've been meaning to post a long crazy rant about teaching so I can reflect back on it someday if I ever start to think that summers off would be worth it all again. While I do want to forget all about it, I don't want to be fooled into thinking I could bear it again. So, this is just a note to myself to get back to that later.

3. Pool safety. I can't say enough about what it means to me. I found these links and wanted to post them for anyone that doubts pool safety is a big issue. Even the best parents can look away for a second, and it horrifies me to imagine the thought.

Stop Peeing on Me!

I guarantee that this post is NOT what most people will think it's about.

Marti has a funny habit of taking a drink out of whatever it is that I'm having -- no matter what it is. He MUST have a sip and then go about his business.

I noticed this a while back and equated it with peeing on me.

"WHY?" you say?

Well, it reminds me of the dog that struts through the neighborhood putting a little dribble of pee on each and every tree he passes -- not missing one along the way. He's placing his mark, so to speak.

"This is mine. This is mine. This is mine. This is mine, too!"

So, think of my beverages as trees and my husband as the dog.

Every time I have a beverage, I look over at him and he's staring at me, longingly, and not in the way a woman appreciates. I don't even ask anymore, I just hand it to him so he can take a sip and walk away. It is so funny.

So, today he brought me some coffee and I noticed a little tell-tale drip on the edge of the cup. I asked him if he peed on it, and he confirmed that he had.

He had a cup of his own right next to it when he made it, but he had to pee on mine, too. He's such a doggie! :)

But, I love that he brought me coffee. I need it today!!!

Honey if you're reading this, MWAH! Thanks for the coffee!!!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Where to start... I have 3 things in mind that I want to write about, so this will probably end up being a monster post.

The Good

For the holiday, we went up north to my parent's place and spent Thursday night through Monday afternoon enjoying everything great about it! We saw fireworks and Abby was amazed. I forgot the camera, and it was dark anyway, so I don't know that I could have captured her face if I had tried. It was nice to just sit and enjoy it this time and not worry about the camera. I try to do that once in a while.

We also went to a little community fair and managed to get in some good fun before it started raining again. (For those of you outside of AZ, it's monsoon season, and the summer rains are incredible!) My mom got Abby a wristband so she could do whatever she wanted to at the fair. Everything (including cotton candy!) was included except for the petting zoo. That was only $5, and when she got in there, it was animal overload!!!

It took up about a parking spot's worth of space, and inside the fences they set up, they had 2 little goats, a little pig, a couple of geese and a duck, a boatload of fancy schmancy chickens, rabbits of assorted sizes, a puppy that was going NUTS, and up to about 10 kids at a time plus a grown up in there picking up anything resembling poo out of the hay they had put down on the ground. It was AWESOME!!!

She also had a lot of fun playing in the bounce house. She always likes that, so that was an easy first choice for the day. (*footnote below)

The Bad

The bad thing that I'm sure you know about is that I have gained more weight than I am comfortable just living with and I'd like to do something about it, but I have neither the time nor motivation to do so. I guess there's just always something else I'd rather be doing than going to the gym or planning, shopping, and preparing healthier meals for myself.

So, Marti decided he also wants to make a change and suggested that we try NutriSystem. For me it almost seems like a no brainer. I can eat a lot of things, in the sense that I'm not a food snob. Also, it looks like it will pretty much meet the need I have to just "grab and go" at meal time. We will probably look at the menu this weekend and get started. I hope it works for me. I think the worst part will be laying off the beer. :( I guess I can make THAT sacrifice.

The Ugly

So... My insurance at work is now in effect. I canceled the individual policy and I'm good to go if, say, I got pregnant or anything. But, there's this lingering hesitation in Marti, so we finally had "the talk."

What it boils down to is, he has now decided that he does not want to try for another child.

I have to admit, he has a lot of good points that he brought up.
1. We both turn 40 this fall and we're both getting tired.
2. He doesn't want to be an old dad and not have the energy to keep up with a little one.
3. Financially it will be tough to do what we want and plan for OUR lives (retirement, etc.) with another one in the picture.
4. One is hard enough to deal with, but how thin will our patience wear with 2 running around like little monsters on bad days?
5. I'd have to quit my job because the cost of daycare for 2 is about what I take home, so what's the use, right? (And I just don't think I'm cut out to be a stay at home mom. Besides, that would be fairly temporary, and then I'd be out looking for another job in a few years -- and what if I never found an awesome place to work like where I am now? The threat of a lifetime of crappy jobs scares me!)
6. The business Marti is in is a volatile one, and in all honesty, even though he's had a great run there of over a decade, one really never knows if it will continue, especially if the economy tanks. That leaves us with an uneasy feeling sometimes. There is always that threat.
7. I almost forgot the late nights, the pumping, and the baby food, bottles and diapers. We have light at the end of the diaper tunnel, and it's hard to imagine going back now.

He did tell me that if I insisted, he could probably be persuaded, but I know he doesn't want to.

The sad part is, I agree with most of what he brings up.

I have a few counterpoints, such as:

1. Daycare isn't permanent -- kids eventually go to school.
2. If it got THAT tight financially I could work earlier hours and he could cover the days with the kids and I could cover the nights.
3. Sure the first 2.5 years with Abby have sometimes been rough, but we're nearly pros now! We learned a lot along the way, so even though it will be hard, it will be easier in some ways than last time.

However, there is still no guarantee that I can even get pregnant in the next year or so (our self-imposed deadline last time we had this talk), let alone carry a baby to term again. So this could all just be misery for the sake of misery in the long run.

I just can't imagine NOT TRYING one last time. It makes me incredibly sad to imagine us in our older years looking back and knowing in hindsight that we COULD HAVE handled it. If things got a lot easier than we imagined or were not as hard as we feared... What then?

It would be easier to take if I know we at least tried.

It doesn't help that this all came to a head in the weeks leading up to last year's miscarriage. So much of that is on my mind right now. Do I really want to put myself through that again? I suppose I can take it.

What I don't know is that if life as we know it will survive this kind of stress. Not the stress of failing -- the stress of succeeding. I've heard stories of relationships that suffer when overloaded. What if Marti is right and it will just be too much for us? What if we are overly tired and cranky and start taking it out on each other all the time? He didn't mention the relationship angle, but I can't help but fear that. I feel like we've been through enough in the past couple of years with what that teaching job did to me. I remember how that felt. Why would I wish that on us again?

So, as we reached a standstill in the conversation, I just started crying and had to go upstairs to get a grip.

I think the reality of the situation is that we will be a single child family. I just don't know if I am comfortable just accepting that reality and I also wonder if just accepting it right now will lead to different problems later.

This is not how I imagined my life. I know we have Abby and she's been an incredible blessing to us. She's about as perfect as a child can be. (Other than the fact that, as a friend said today, she's extremely shy** and eats about once a week!) Why can't I just be happy with what I have been given? I guess I'm also lucky I never imagined a huge family with tons of kids. That would probably be harder to let go of. I just never imagined an only child.

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* Don't you just hate when you can't load a cell phone video to youtube? Or even better, when you try to convert it to the right file type with a free download, and the free download is just THAT -- you get to DOWNLOAD it for free, but using it is for a fee. WTF? I had a pretty good clip of Abby in the bounce house, but it is not here due to frustrations with 3G2 files from my phone. :(

** For the record, Abby is only extremely shy when she's around new people, in a new environment, or asked to perform a stupid toddler trick of some sort, such as singing a song for someone for the first time. But how can a mom resist asking her to do it when it's this cute? (FYI, my mom's name is Michele, so singing this song to my mom [out of the picture, but present in this video] is twice as cute!)


She looks up at my mom at the "I love you. I love you. I love you!" part.
At the end she kind of loses it, and I said, "Something like that." She repeated it. (In case you can't understand what we were saying there.)

Light at the End of the Tunnel

I think I am coming OUT of my funk. I know there will be sadness this week -- especially when we get up north and I feel the pangs of remembering being pregnant last year there. But I think the depression is passing.

I may get off work early tomorrow, so that will be nice. My boss offered to let me leave early if I already met my 32 hours for this week. (Holiday Friday, remember?) That was nice! I still think she's about the coolest boss I've had! Not for this one thing -- but this was nice of her to offer all the same.

On another note, I did some creative plumbing tonight to try to get our shut off valve to the house water line working again. Do NOT ask me how I got it working again. ;) But, I'm looking forward to maybe being able to fix our kitchen sink (lack of) pressure problem now, as well as safely taking the master shower faucet apart to see if I can get HOT water to come through it again someday. Oh, and the leaky toilet in the second bathroom as well as the drippy faucet in there could use some attention, too! I've got my work cut out for me once this holiday is over, but nothing seals the deal on coming out of depression (for me, at least) than getting some shit done and feeling good about it.

Is it Just Me?

Is it just me, or is this funny?



I make microwave packets of macaroni and cheese sometimes, and nearly every time, the macaroni lines up like seeds in a sunflower by the time I take it out of the microwave.

I think it has something to do with the bubbles in the boiling water and the size of the bowl, and the bubbles wanting to travel upward, bringing the macaroni to a vertical position with the bowl holding it in that position once it gets there.

What do you think?

If nothing else, it's kind of weird. I actually look forward to it.