She's Writing Her NAME!

Last week I took Abby out to dinner with my parents. As I was signing the credit card receipt, Abby noticed and asked if she could do it. Ah, what the heck, right? So, I gave her the pen and the second copy of the receipt.

She did it!!!!!! I didn't hold the pen at all for her or tell her what to do except to close the top of her A!

I never thought my little girl would be able to write her name at three years old.

Once again, this kind of came out of the blue. She didn't really have unsuccessful attempts at writing her name - she just DID IT!

Any Idea What THIS Is?

Marti called the doctor today and they said it's probably HFMD, but they didn't see it. It doesn't look like any HFMD images I've located online.

Any ideas on what this could be? She says it hurts (sometimes) and is oblivious at others. There are some blisters, but mostly a generalized redness. Also, there is skin peeling on the edges of her toe pads.





(Adding the answer now that we know. The doc said it's just a sensitivity to sweaty socks! Go figure! She's been running around barefoot as much as possible since Saturday and it's almost all cleared up now!)

I Never Was Good With Numbers

I finally spoke to my doctor about my depression issues and asked him what I can do. After we spoke, he gave me some samples of C.ymbalta and said start with 30mg and work my way up to 60mg after a week or so. Simple enough, right?

I went out to my car and opened one of the boxes. I took one of the pills and went to work. Around lunch time I wasn't feeling all that great, so I decided to go out to eat so I could get some fresh air. By the time my lunch was done, I was starting to feel REALLY weird. I mean, REALLY REALLY weird. So weird, in fact, that I drove straight up to the front door at work, went straight up the stairs, and then grabbed my stuff. Someone was talking to my boss, so it was all I could do to let her know that I was leaving. And I walked out. Just like that.

I made my way home, tears flowing down my face as I drove. I can only say that I felt a sense of panic, but I wasn't outright scared. I just needed to get home -- and NOW!

When I rounded the corner to our neighborhood, I REALLY started crying because I was relived that I was finally home. I came inside and Marti was in the shower, so he never heard me come in. I felt nauseated, so I spent some time in Abby's bathroom and then went to my room to go to bed. I was a WRECK!

Of course I scared the HELL out of Marti - first of all, just by BEING there, and secondly by the way I looked. I couldn't talk to him about what was going on and he was worried when I wouldn't talk to him.

It turns out I took one of the 60mg pills instead of a 30mg pill, so the reaction wasn't as scary to me as it was to him. He had no idea what to expect of these pills in the first place, and to see his wife in the middle of a full on panic attack was a bit unnerving, to say the least! He got online and looked up the side effects and was really concerned for me and for our daughter, who I was due to pick up from day care and take care of while he went to work for the night. WHAT a disaster!

He didn't miss a beat though! He called my mom right away, and she came to our rescue, picking Abby up and taking care of her until bed time.

I did get better after a couple of hours of sleep and a LOT of alone time. At one point, when I had first gotten home, I was crouched on the floor in our toilet room (a separate closet area of our bathroom, for those of you familiar with that brilliant trend), in the dark, with the door closed, with my hands over my eyes. I was a total freak show! And there was no stopping it. My torso felt like when someone jumps out at you in the dark and scares the shit out of you. It was that instant tightness in my chest and gut -- and it lasted for a couple of hours!

Finally it passed, and I discussed the meds with Marti again when he got home. He didn't want me to take it again, but I really want to give it another try. I just fucked up the dosage, that's all. I've spoken to 2 other people since then that take the same med and they both said they needed to ramp up and they feel better when they are taking it. It's worth a try, right?

BUT, I am NOT trying it again on a work day! I will try a 30mg on Saturday and probably on Sunday barring any major catastrophe, and then make my way into the work week if I do ok on it over the weekend. If 30 mg makes me freak out again, then I don't think this is the answer for me. I'd rather be blue and angry than have panic attacks for no apparent reason!

I'll Take Waffles With a Side of Hope, Please

If you know me personally or you've been following this blog, you know I want another child, that I have infertility issues that get much worse with passing time, and that my husband recently proclaimed that he is done.

Much of my mental energy is spent coming to terms with that. I must add, I don't have it as hard as some do, as I do have one beautiful child to comfort my heart. But, it still takes a toll on me sometimes.



What makes matters worse is when I begin to come to terms with it, Marti begins to waffle -- sometimes subtly (by making passing comments to friends that he may change his mind someday), and sometimes overtly (as you will read below).

Valentine's Day happened to fall near that "window" in my cycle where it is possible to get pregnant. I took the opportunity to inform him that, given the situation (that I want another and he "does not"), I would no longer be responsible for telling him, against my wishes, to take precautions. He's a big boy, he knows when my cycle starts, and he can surely figure out when 2 weeks after that date would be. There. I said it.

Much to my surprise, he informed me that he knows my cycle and he knows what he's doing! (TMI alert - as if the preceding wasn't bad enough! Last month could have been an oops month, I assumed he just wasn't thinking, and I felt a little guilty for not having spoken up when I knew what could have happened.) He still is not 100% sure he wants another (nor 100% sure he doesn't!) but he knows the timing and he's aware of what he's risking.

So, he's certainly not trying, but occasionally not preventing. That puts my coping on hold and puts me right back into hoping against hope that I get pregnant, and that it actually sticks if I do!

Webster's Dictionary defines...

This should be brief. I just have to get it off my chest.

I listen to the radio while traveling to and from work, as well as most of the day at my desk. I hear commercials from a certain jeweler ALL DAY LONG and they drive me INSANE! They are so completely trite and lacking in inspiration.

Every.single.ad starts the same way. They say a word, and then follow it up with, "Webster's Dictionary defines XXXXXXX as ....."

For example, this week it was "Valentine. Webster's Dictionary defines Valentine as a sweetheart - either chosen or complimented on Valentine's Day." Yes, I have it memorized and I hate then for that!

Other examples include, but are not limited to: heirloom, graduation, engagement, and passion. There have been countless others, as this has been going on for months on end. I even sent them an email requesting they re-evaluate their marketing campaign along with a link that clearly stated what a JOKE it is to rely on the age-old dictionary trick as a starter. (Not to say that every dictionary starter is a joke. I actually saw it used well recently in a different situation!)

Please tell me how to make them stop! I love listening to the station I tune in, so I don't want to stop listening just because of this.

Old School

I went to a small parochial school until 8th grade. There were probably 28 kids in each grade, so everyone knew everybody.

I stayed in touch with Denise after leaving CA for AZ, and we remained friends even as we became adults. Unfortunately, I lost touch with everyone else after only a short time of being away.

Now, 27 years later, I have been contacted not once, but twice in one year by old classmates. (Jenni first, and then Darin) While nothing will compare to all the things that Denise and I have shared through the years, it does feel nice to be back in touch with some of my other friends. It seems like just yesterday sometimes when we chat.

As a result of this contact, now many of us are on a little bit of a quest for the rest of the class. Unfortunately, some of our classmates had very common names, so they will be difficult to track down. Little by little though, I hope we can network our way back to a complete group again.

It is sooooo weird to see pictures of my old mates and know that they are all (about/at least) 40 like me, and yet still see the junior high kids I knew when I look at their pictures. Even stranger still was to get a voicemail from Darin and have to convince myself that it was not 1982! Not to say he sounds like a kid now, but he still sounds like the Darin that I remember! It's so hard to explain! I keep meaning to call him back, but, as with most grown ups, life keeps happening around me. I also keep promising to call Jenni one of these days, but that hasn't happened yet either. As I imagine it, I can hear her voice in my head. I wonder if it will sound the same in my ear when I finally live up to my word?

As the old quote goes, "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." I have so many pleasant memories of those years we all shared. Granted, junior high DID happen during those years, but that doesn't change that I couldn't help but sometimes feel everyone was like an extended family since we shared such close quarters on that tiny little campus.

I've played a little catch up on Facebook in the last week or so, but there is just not enough time in the day to do so with every new friend as I add them. I love that every day or so, someone shows up somehow. (My first thought on the group we started was, "If you build it, they will come!) I just don't feel like I have time every day to catch up with them the instant I see them, and I hope they don't take that for lack of interest. In that way, it's not so great to add so many friends at one time. I feel like I shouldn't add a new friend until I catch up with the others I've already found. How silly is that?

My Budding Artist

Abby spontaneously progressed from scribbling to actual portraits! I have never been so excited to see two-legged heads in my life!

A couple nights ago, she was sitting on my lap while I was reading email or something. I looked down and this is what I saw:



I was amazed! She said it was Mommy and Abby, and then proceeded to draw Daddy in there, too. All by herself! Then she pointed out that they had feet, too. OMG! It was like watching her grow up before my very eyes in an instant.

"Freaky ESP Thing"

For many years, I have felt and been told that I have a "freaky ESP thing." It's gotten to the point where I just point it out early on in new friendships so that we can move right past that wondering stage and get right to the giggling part.

Just like all things, I am convinced that there is a range associated with this oddity. No, I can't read minds. No I can't predict the lottery numbers or even the weather. It's really quite useless except for an occasional statement that could bring a "WTF!!!!" out of a friend who sees the connection. At this point, I can't think of any specifics of my own off the top of my head, but it happens.

Here's the point of the post. I think Abby may have gotten it from me!!!! A couple weeks ago, we were driving home and I told her that Tiffany was coming over. Her response was to ask me if Tiffany had chocolate in her car. Huh? Random! I think the last time Tiffany brought me chocolate was 5 times ago when I watched her cats while she was on vacation. I don't even think Abby knew what solid food was at that point, let alone be able to discern what chocolate was! So, I dismissed her comment as random and went along our merry way home. When Tiffany showed up, guess what she brought? Carl's Junior burgers and fries!!!!! Woo hoo!!!!! OK, that was unrelated.

She brought chocolate!!!!!! A big bowl of homemade chocolate covered bananas to be specific!

Weird!

But, we can chalk that up to coincidence I think. It was odd, but just odd enough to make me tilt my head. I would have never blogged about it if it were not for:

Scissors.

I recently decided to give coupons a try. Jenny has shared some of her stories about how much she can save, and while I'm not going to go pro, I think with coupons now being worth a dollar or more, it is now worth it to try.

So, I gathered up all the coupons from the old papers at work (we put papers on the planes) and had them in a folder in my big purse/bag. I grabbed the bag and was going to head upstairs to cut them out because the good scissors were upstairs.

Remember, the folder was (hidden) in my bag. It was new, so Abby didn't even know it existed, let alone know it was for coupons. I didn't say I was going upstairs to get scissors; I was just thinking I needed them. I didn't mention coupons or anything AT ALL to prompt what happened next.

As we left the kitchen to head upstairs, Abby put her fingers out like a tiny pair of scissors and started mimicking the motion of scissors while saying, "I need scissors. Cut cut cut."

DUDE!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!! No, seriously, WHAT WAS THAT???????

The only time - ONLY TIME - she has ever used scissors is with a clumsy lobster shaped pair that came with her playdo set she got for her birthday. She rarely even uses them. So, it's not like an everyday thing for her to even mention scissors, let alone the instant I start thinking about them!

So, I am starting to think that she got my freaky ESP thing. This could get fun. :)