Lions and Tigers and BEARS, OH MY!

Last week we visited my in-laws so Marti could take his dad out for Father's Day. While the boys were out doing their thing, my mother-in-law took Abby and me to the circus. We had fun and had great seats, so we saw everything up close.

When I returned to work, I somehow managed to get a free pair of tickets to the circus here in Phoenix. These tickets were in the company suite. They were not as close, but there was the added benefits of the suite that night.

The NEXT night, I took Abby BACK so she could get a toy she wanted. The first night we were there, she didn't get it and I could tell she was SO disappointed! YET, through it all, she was polite and patient and did not throw a fit of any sort! I was so proud of her! Anyway, while we were there getting her toy, we ran into a VERY desperate scalper and ended up with 10th row tickets for $5 each! WOW!

So, we were at the circus three times in less than a week! Wow.

While I was there, I remembered something from when I was a kid. We were out somewhere and there was a cage with a bear in it. I volunteered to go in. I guess I was about 5 or so? (This was in the 70s and things were VERY different!)

The goal was to hold a fig newton in my teeth and the bear was going to stand up and take it from my mouth and eat it.

Well, leave it to me to make it difficult! I kept EATING the cookie myself!

I honestly don't remember if the bear ever got a cookie from me or not. (Mom? Do you remember?) I do remember the guy trying to explain to me that I needed to put the cookie in my mouth, but NOT eat it. But hey, I loved fig newtons! :)

Dreams

It's been a long time since I've had dreams that I remember in the morning. For someone that used to wake up and be able to go back to sleep and pick up where she left off in the middle of a dream, not remembering dreams at all does not feel right.

There were a few vivid dreams after I left teaching, but those were mostly "workmares" -- you know, those nightmares that you have about your worst possible day at work. Other than 3 or 4 of those disturbing dreams I don't remember ANY over the last year or more.

As for what my teacher workmares consisted of, for your pleasure, imagine me trying to teach 100 kids in a decrepit old greenhouse with no lesson plans or even a CLUE to speak of. I am then told that space was already reserved and I attempt to herd said 100 tweens to another space that I have yet to conceive of. Only before I can do that, and while losing about half the kids to wanderlust, I am Shanghaied in the cafeteria and coerced into volunteering for a part in the faculty talent show - yet never given a script for the play. Then as I walk in to what I thought was a rehearsal, the spotlight shines on me in front of the entire school and it is time for me to say my lines -- for REAL!

You might say I have fears of not being prepared...

Anyway, I've started dreaming again!!! Good dreams; weird dreams -- you know -- JUST DREAMS!

How odd that I had stopped. I just chalked it up to things in my life changing and figured I just wasn't going to have dreams anymore. I guess it doesn't have to be that way.

What I want to know now is if I will start to get some of my old energy back. I mean, does the increase in dreaming mean I'm getting more -- or at least BETTER -- sleep? If so, one can assume I will be more rested and my energy will be begin to return to me.

AND, if my energy returns to me, maybe at least SOME of this mental fog will leave me.

One can only hope, right?

Choices

Just outside our bedroom door we have a short wall overlooking our stairs. Marti always puts his dirty work clothes there when he takes them off so they are easy to grab when he does laundry. He works in a restaurant, so they frequently smell of foods and oils from the air there.

I, too, sometimes place things there, but less frequently. I use it more for things that I just wore for an hour and may wear again before the next laundry is done.

So, if the entire shelf is open, and I place my things on one side, with the intent of wearing them again, do you think he'd put his on the other side? Nope. He puts his dirty work clothes on top of my jeans and dress. Nice.

Teacher Memories

I've always meant to write some of my favorite teacher memories as well as some of my not so favorites - for various reasons. Rather than getting bogged down by the formality of how to add all this stuff in my head, I will try to just dump it here on the blog and sort it all later.

Today I have a couple of things. I had another student request an add on FB, which is always cool - especially this long after I've been gone. I really did love those kids and it's nice to see they still think of me sometimes, too!

Second thought - as I was doing a fun little quiz on FB tonight, one of the questions was about what I'd do if I saw someone fall and look like they were going to cry.

I couldn't help but remember a little kindergartner that fell on her way to class after getting off the bus. She was all skinned up, but through the tears that she was doing a great job of fighting back, all she really cared about was getting to class on time.

I well up at the thought of it even today!

What a sweet little girl! What a strong little person! I wish I knew who she was so I could see who she becomes as she grows up. I wish I could have shared that story with her parents.

Alas, bus duty sucked, and it was all I could do to fight back my own tears on her behalf and get her to the nurse to get the blood cleaned off before school started and my own class realized I wasn't there the instant the bell rang to let them into the lab.

I have a lot of feelings about the time I spent teaching - not all of it good. However, as much as there was frustration in not having the freedom to do things in what I imagined would have been the right way, my heart still swells at the thought of the kids I had the privileged to know. There's an unconscious reaction I have when people ask me about that time - and it is just a little shake of my head, as if to say, "what a shame." I always felt I was cut out to guide and coach people to their own success, so teaching seemed a natural outlet for that. The "what a shame" part comes when I think of all the things I could have done if things would have been a little bit different.

I did return to it one time and part of the reason I want to start getting some of this out is so that I don't do it again. Like childbirth, I tend to forget the pain and just focus on the awesome treat that it is to be around all these young people. I don't want to forget the pain. To do so would be at my own emotional expense.

Renal Ultrasound

Normal. (Per phone call from Doctor's office today)

What more do I need to know?

:) What a load off!

Now I'm just waiting for the follow up appointment to see what ELSE my problem could be and what to do (or not) about it. At least it's not The C word!

There Are Good Days

I'm not going to pretend. Most nights with Abby are rough. This is mostly because she r.e.f.u.s.e.s to eat. It puts an edge on everything and adds stress to my evenings.

But that's ok. I'm learning to deal with it and take the good days when they come. The rest is like molasses off a duck's back. I know, it's supposed to be water, but it's not that easy yet. At least it's flowing in a generally downward direction, right?

Enough of my venting about and background for this situation. The point of this is not to complain. I wanted to share an incredible night!

Today I had to leave work early to pick Abby up for violin practice because Marti had somewhere he had to be for work. Her teacher said she progressed a lot even since her last lesson on Thursday and would start learning a new song on her next lesson! Wow. Just wow!!!!

After that, there wasn't enough time to go back to work, so I just took Abby home and enjoyed the time with her. She had a snack and shared some of my dinner. (It was still too early for her to eat.) Then we played with her dolls and her new Mrs. Potato Head. She loves that toy! It's one of the first things I made her work for, so I don't know if that's why she loves it so much or if she would have loved it anyway. But, she loves it --- and it makes for a fun play session!

Sunday night we were out with friends and there were roses on the tables. Leanne gave Abby one to take home and she waved the thing very conspicuously all the way out to the car. D'oh! I hope it was ok that I let her keep it! Ha ha ha!

In the car, she broke the head off the rose and apparently Marti just stuck it on the counter and put Abby to bed. (Whatever - no biggie, right?)

Well, today, Tuesday, Abby discovered the rose head and was ready to cry that it was dying. I had an amazing mom moment and turned the situation all the way around into crazy fun! I told her that was ok and she could pop the petals off to put in her bath and it would be just like a princess! OMG! She hadn't even had dinner yet, and she could not get into that bath fast enough!

I just hope I didn't create a monster with the rose petals in the bath!



Then there was the quail thing and my dog on the desk... (See post one door down)

After that, we went downstairs to make her dinner. She wanted ketchup. Um. Ok, how about scrambled eggs with ketchup? Will that do?

Yup.

Done.

I gave her a wipe and had her go outside and clean her picnic table so she could eat outside. Well really, it was so I could chill outside while she ate. ;)

Oh, did I mention she's started doing some of the cleaning now? She wipes her table and will do the baseboards for me now! Woo hooo! She's already down there, so why not, right? Ha ha! We mom's have to get creative sometimes. ;)

So anyway, we sat outside while she ate. She loves eggs, so it wasn't much of a struggle. I only had to tell her about 100 times to take a bite as opposed to the usual 1,000.

It also occurred to me that it was getting dark. We like to take a little walk to where the baby rabbits hang out, but if we didn't get going, we were going to miss them -- or at least not be able to see them if they happened to still be there.

So, I shared this with Abby and she hurried up a little and finished her dinner in a more reasonable time frame than usual.

Oh, just prior to coming downstairs, I had remarked to a friend online that I thought Abby was nearly perfect. I didn't say it out loud -- I just thought it and typed it. Well, as we're sitting in the yard, she asked me if she was perfect. Where does she come up with this? I swear she reads my mind.

Back to the bunnies.

She was already in her PJs, so I just put her in her stroller and rolled her over to see the bunnies. There were three tonight! Whoopie! AND, they did run off when they saw us (like they usually do) but then stopped and hung out under the canopy of a palo verde tree, and eventually began foraging again. It was cool to just sit quietly watching them with my little girl.

Because they seemed to be a little more comfortable with us, I decided to try to maximize that and went home to get them some carrots. From now on, I'm going to bring a few baby carrots and drop under the tree when we visit. Maybe they will begin to recognize us.

After all that, we did the bedtime routine and I watched Abby almost recite the book we were reading. She picked it out from the library last week and knows most of it already.

I got some hugs and kisses and off she went to la la land.

As I was typing this, I heard Marti's car beep, so now he's home, too.

This has been a good night!

Aaaaaaaaaaaa! What the....!?!?!?!?!?!?

OMFG! I was just sitting here enjoying some time on the computer while my little one plays at my feet. I noticed an entire family of quail (mom, dad, and 2 little peeps) on the roof next door and called Abby up to see. I stood up and held her so she could see over the monitor and the box on the desk. There is a huge mess on the desk and barely room to place a glass of water! (Shame on me! I know, I know! It's on the list of things to do.)

As I was standing there with her watching the quail, my dogs got a little fired up because they could sense the excitement in our voices as we were watching the quail.

My dog, Sydney, jumped up ONTO the desk and looked out the window! That doesn't sound remarkable, but you have to see the mess that was on the desk. Oh, and Syd is not a little dog, by any stretch of the imagination! She's a full 50 pounds!

If I wasn't so freaked out, I probably could have gotten a picture of her on the desk, but I was just grabbing things (including the box behind the box that is full of sewing notions, such as hundreds of pins and needles!!!!!) that were going to go down when she decided to dismount, that I didn't get a picture of the actual mayhem.

Imagine a small lab standing on this desk between the box and the monitor. "Where," you ask? Yes, THERE!