Dearest Baby Inside Me:
I know you are there and this kicking and scratching the inside of my uterus today will not get my attention any more than you already have. You already consume my every waking thought - and most of my sleeping thoughts, too.

So, for the good of us all, you can stop whatever it is you're doing in there and go back to the cute little bumps and nudges you were doing a couple weeks ago.

Don't get me wrong -- I love that you are in there having a good old time. It is comforting to feel you moving about. It's encouraging to know you're awake and active more than the 5-10% of the time that the newsletters say you should be right now.

However, nobody likes a show-off, so you really need to turn it down a notch now before you make it a habit. If not, you're going to end up being that kid that gets picked on by the school bully and I hear that's no fun.

Consider this you first piece of motherly advice.

KNOCK IT OFF, KID!!!!!

Love,
Your dear sweet mommy