Feeling Irrelevant

This weekend wasn't that bad in the grand scheme of things, but it wasn't great, either.

Saturday we went to a birthday party for our friends' son. Marti got a message while he was there asking if he wanted to come over and hang out with some other guys. He asked if I minded, and I didn't, so he went.

I didn't realize until later that I sort of did. I shouldn't, I guess, but I did. We get so little time together. I got semi-dolled up and he ran off to be with the guys. Boo! You know what though? I wanted him to. I would want to have the freedom to see my friends if something came up, so why shouldn't he be able to, also? But, I did miss him after he left.

Then Sunday mainly sucked. I did accomplish a couple of minor tasks in the back yard (fixed sprinklers and picked up what must have been a month's worth of dog poop) so I felt like the weekend wasn't a total waste (in the housekeeping department). Marti greeted me with a beer when I entered the house after my sudden (yet short) burst of motivation. I didn't even know we had any left! And OH it was hot outside, so that was one welcome beer! That was the good part of the day.

Then there were the phone calls. It was his sister's birthday, so I suggested a call. He called, put Abby on the phone, and he never put me on the phone. As it looked like he was going to close, I shouted happy birthday from across the room and, as I thought, he hung up the phone without offering me a chance to say anything. Nor did anyone on the other side ask to talk to me.

He also, on my prompt, called his grandmother in London. Guess who didn't get to talk to her and who she didn't ask to talk to this time?

Pht! Nevermind that it was my idea to call both of them. Whatever.

As the day went on, I didn't feel right in my tummy, so when Marti asked if I wanted anything specific for dinner, I kept passing. He said he felt like wings, so I said maybe a salad for me. He said had a place in mind and he'd call when he got there.

Turns out he went to a different place than what he mentioned. (I would have suggested driving elsewhere.)

Turns out he ordered me a Caesar salad THEN called me after the order was placed - still not telling me where he chose to pick up from. (I didn't want a Caesar on an upset stomach, and would have had a different salad MAYBE, but probably no salad had I known he was at this place.)

He came home (and not really his fault for not knowing Caesar was a bad choice), and I peeked at the salad. It sucked. The chicken was stuck to the lid as if it was sitting in the fridge like that all day. There were tomatoes (?) on it, a packet of "sandy" Parmesan cheese, a packet of croutons, and guess what? NO DRESSING!

So, I checked our fridge - but came up with 3 bottles of expired dressing and some Italian that would "do." Or so I thought.

I tossed the Italian all over the salad and started to eat it, but it still sucked royally. I ate the chicken and threw the entire lettuce portion away.

Then Abby was doing something that bugged me while she sat at her table, so I said something to her. She didn't even look at me, let alone respond. Again. Again.

Finally, I just looked at Marti and said I was going to bed. It was something like 7:30 pm and I was done. I went to bed and tried hard to just check out to sleepy time land.

Marti bathed Abby and read her what sounded like 50 books then put her to bed. I didn't get so much as a good night from her, let alone a hug and a kiss. She still wasn't even acknowledging my existence. (Nor was he.)

He then went on the computer and that sort of bugged me since it's in our room and it was keeping me awake. I suggested he find some football on tv and let me sleep. He followed my lead and did just that. (No hugs or kisses from him, either.)

In the morning Abby woke up and they both went downstairs for coffee/milk and some hoops in the back yard. Still no good morning or hugs or kisses.

Hello!!! I'm here!!!!! WTF????

As I was leaving for work, I popped in to Abby's violin practice with her dad and gave her a hug and kiss good bye. Marti always acts like I'm interrupting something urgent when I say good bye to them, so I guess I felt rushed and went on my way. As I got on the freeway, I realized I never gave him a hug and kiss goodbye -- just Abby. Boo, me!!!!

I sent him a message acknowledging my flub.

That night we watched TV after he got home and then went upstairs for bed. I got into bed and he got on the PC. I realized I still hadn't kissed him all day, so I got out of bed and kissed him on the cheek as he checked his scores or stocks or whatever online. Then back to bed I went.

The next morning (today) I mentioned that I thought it would be great if he didn't do violin practice right when I was leaving every morning. I wanted to explain how he makes me feel like I'm intruding when I want to kiss them good bye, but he cut me off and walked away.

I continued getting ready, then interrupted violin practice to give them each a hug and kiss good bye. He commented sarcastically that he actually got a hug and kiss good bye today.

...

Stew on it for a while at work, and then out goes the email...

Still no response to said email.

But seriously! Should I have to feel like an intruder in my own home? Should I have to pry a kiss or a hug out of my husband? We get so little time/affection as it is. Does he really need to limit it further by doing her practice at a time when he KNOWS it's at least customary to give a hug and a kiss - if not desperately needed sometimes????

Is it unnatural to shy away from someone if they treat you like an intruder?

This just isn't healthy and it makes me sad.